You Can - An Adventure for Valentine's
by squibblyquill
Summary: Jareth has saved Sarah, but Sarah can no longer remember her life as a mortal. Vulnerable and waking to her new life in the Underground, she has left Jareth in search of herself. But only Jareth knows where she really comes from. Can love be the starting point of healing? DISCLAIMER: I do not own Labyrinth!
1. Chapter 1

**_Chapter 1 - Out of Love's Womb_**

* * *

"You can't go home if you don't remember where that is."

"But _you_ do," she glared at me, and I my heart shriveled. _No, Sarah, I never meant for it to work this way…Please, Sarah, don't hate me_.

"Look, Sarah, we can work on this together. I'll help you," everything in me pleaded with her.

"How do I know Sarah's even my name?" Her fiery eyes flashed at me from behind long jittering tresses.

"You could always trust me…"

"But you're the Goblin King! You steal children! You turn them into monsters! What on earth are you doing with me here?"

_Oh, Sarah. Stop. Please, for my sake stop_.

"It's…it's not what you think." I stammered, stepping toward her futilely.

"Stay away from me!" She shouted and the searing mar of rejection lashed at my bones. _Oh, but think of all the nights you fell asleep like a child in my arms cradling me as though I were your angel, is it that easy to reject me_? I wanted to do as I had done for so many months now. I wanted to collect her in my arms and rub my nose in her hair and coo at her until her heart gave up its fear and found rest against mine. But those days were gone now.

"I didn't steal you away. You were hurt, you know this."

"Do I?" She huffed lancing acrid beams of venom from her eyes.

"There was no one to look after you," I sighed with defeat.

"Do I look as though I need someone to look after me?" She hissed.

"You did then." _I'm sorry Sarah. I couldn't help myself. I didn't wait for someone to find you. I didn't wait for an ambulance. You were…You would have never been the same. I knew my magic could do more for you than any of those doctors aboveground_. _I took you, yes. But it was to save you_.

"Well, I don't, now. So leave me alone," she turned to leave.

"Sarah, I can still help you. I can help you remember where you came from."

"I don't trust you," she snapped back as she slipped out of my study door.

Everything in me sank. Months of images of her smiling at me, nuzzling her head against me, yes, even kissing me, holding me as though I was her rock in a great sea of confusion swirled through my head and under my skin. Her scent was in my nostrils. Her skin against my face. Memories of what seemed like love, as the mortals know it, clashed and raged against the caustic tirade I had just witnessed. My core felt split like a tree twisted in a merciless storm. _Why do you do this Sarah? Why do I let you do this to me?_

I sat down with my hands over my face. At least she couldn't see me. Of course, I'd been a fool to imagine she could love me without first knowing who she herself was. I had been a hopeful, lovesick, doting fool. And now a miserable fool.

J

_So she's gone_. I don't know if I should have tried to stop her. An hour ago, I went to talk to her in her quarters and found all the tell-tale signs of departure—disarray, missing items, abandoned bulk she probably decided she couldn't carry with her at the last minute, and of course no Sarah. A part of me wants to fly and find her, appear to her and plead with her to come home again. Another part of me wants at least to fly and find her. She doesn't know the underground. It isn't safe. She could get into trouble, hurt herself. _And yet she beat your labyrinth_… I wonder if she will find the world outside my labyrinth equally navigable. I wonder if she's strong enough this time.

_You saw her fighting spirit, don't kid yourself_…_But she is still healing, and she is still so lost_…_And now she's gone to find herself_, _who are you to interfere_? …_the only one in this world who remembers the place she came from_.

My internal debate is finally drawn to an abrupt end by one all-encompassing realization.

_She left you_. _It's obvious. She doesn't need you. She doesn't even want you_. I try to stop the thoughts from spiraling into a paralyzing tumult. I need to keep my head clear. _She's confused. She doesn't know who she is. How can she trust anyone if she doesn't trust herself_? I counter with what seem like more perspicacious observations.

Fae or human, what does it matter—rejection is still rejection. I could sit here and console myself with wisdom until the goblins start trying to hatch chicken eggs in my boots, but it won't change the way I feel. Damn it all to hell.

_Had you just waited, Sarah, I would have come to you. You would have calmed down. I could have comforted you. I would have told you about your world—the world you can never return to now. I'm sorry. You don't understand what it cost to save you. It is not easy to understand_. _But I would have been here for you to hold_. _Perhaps in time you would have forgiven me_. _Had you wanted, in time we could have started a life together_.

The memory of her arms curled around my neck, her face nestled under my chin, and lips brushing against my skin as she drifted off into a world of dreams wrenches me from any pretention of level-headedness. The goblins should count themselves lucky in my absence.

No matter. I don't care what she thinks. I will never regret saving her. Better alive and free in this world, than a disfigured vegetable in hers—comatose, unrecognizable, broken and tied to a machine until her dying breath. _If I could have stopped that semi I would have, Sarah. I swear to you. But in your world I only had power over you_.

I'm still not sure how I was able to save her, how I had any power at all over her. But that's all irrelevant now. She needed me, and I did not leave her lying pinned and bleeding in that horrible wreck. And somehow I was able to fix her, even if it meant her becoming part fae forever. A tremor runs down my spine as I recall the angle of her neck, the piece of glass protruding from her skull, and the missing side of her face.

_And what if it was her time to die? Are you sure you didn't take that moment from her_? Contrary to popular belief, my conscience plagues me with the audacity of an old friend. _She was still breathing, damn it_! _What do you do when you love someone? Whatever you can. And that is what I did. I won't apologize for it_.

A part of me admits my own selfishness. I wanted her alive because I loved her. And now she's alive. Everything has a price, but at least she's alive.


	2. Chapter 2

**Enter the Age of Exploration**

* * *

S

At last I arrived at a great stone wall. The air was damp and smelled of river clay and autumn fog. It was clearly some sort of keep. Perhaps this was one of the Goblin King's neighbors. I mentally thumbed through the names I could remember reading from the books in his library. I tried not to imagine the glowing kindness in his face as he showed me those first volumes, pushing from consciousness the gentle touch of his hand on my still trembling wrist. A monster had replaced my memory and now all I could picture was the glint of the unknown in his eye—the abyss of the unreadable, the void of the horrifically inscrutable. And what cannot be read by a fearful heart is doomed to be filled instead with fear. _What did you want from me?! What did you do to me?! What have you done with my life?! _I growled from the pits of my inner monologue. The images in my mind were all colluded and spinning around a few lines I happened to chance upon in a book the night before:

"The Kingdom of the Goblin City is an old and infamous one. Its ruler is the only monarch in the underground who can travel freely between this realm and our fabled sister realm. For many generations it has been understood that the function of the Labyrinth surrounding the city is to ensnare wished-away children, as the current King is ruthless in his design of procuring more goblin subjects. Of course, many are skeptical as to where the wished-away children come from, as most do not believe in the actual existence of our sister realm. This author has not excluded the possibility of such a realm, but has not in the course of her research come across any substantial evidence to argue for the actual existence of said realm. In any case, rumors of the Goblin King's depravity are widespread and probably grounded in some measure of truth. Several scholars of the Peripheral Lands have offered opinions as to the actual existence or provenance of trafficking youths and their subsequent transformation into sub-rational goblins…"

Such were the fateful contents of a seemingly innocuous but intriguing leather bound title, _Curious and Mysterious: A researched account of the underbelly of the Underground_. I don't remember the name of the author. I was too horrified to think of much else.

"Doctor Malleus holds that the children are whisked away from neighboring kingdoms, their memories erased, and are subsequently changed into goblins. Sage Fraticus critiques Malleus for not checking the records of the village populous in the surrounding kingdoms, but as most kingdoms are rather reticent to disclose such information, perhaps we can abstain from judgment either way. A most colorful suggestion comes from Queen Tirah who postulates the missing mermaids of her sea kingdom might account for the subsequent population growth in the Goblin City. Of course, Queen Tirah has never been on land to verify the identity of her alleged subjects, so this remains in some sense speculation. Nevertheless, general consensus seems to agree on the fact that the Goblin King does in fact abduct individuals from outside his own Kingdom and pitilessly forces them to relinquish their prior identity and subject themselves to the atrocious demotion of being transformed into unformly half-wits entirely eclipsed by his insatiable dominion. Why the Goblin King takes satisfaction from such cruelty we may leave to psychological speculation; however, it may be that the psychic energy lost by the individual in the transformation is used to fuel the power source of the Labyrinth itself, making his Kingdom essentially parasitic in nature…"

A kind of anxious anger coursed through my veins. I couldn't see it then, but I was pushing away every positive thing I could remember with a vengeance only the confused and wounded can muster.

It had been surprisingly easy to leave the Goblin City. The Labyrinth too only took several hours to navigate. I had looked down upon it many a morn and watched its little fairy lights through numerous nights, and had always assumed it would be a formidable chore to find one's way in it. Strangely, though, my instincts never seemed to fail me. I even had the sense that the Labyrinth was allowing me to progress outward to its outermost bounds, as if it could feel the strength of my own desire to quit it.

I had spent the night several miles outside the labyrinth walls. At first I had been frightened, but somehow the fear did not last. The wonder of exploring the unknown gripped me, and I smiled as the tree leaves bent down to whisper at me. I even took what the little ground bats brought me at sundown (to be honest, I recognized them from Jareth's library), though I understood nothing of their chatter. Apparently they ate tree nuts and were summary experts at distinguishing the bitter poisonous nuts from the sweet and nourishing variety—something no creature with eyes can manage. Perhaps I was reckless, but I wasn't hungry. A young one even nested in my hair as I tried to sleep. I felt…accompanied. It was pleasant.

And now I combed my memory for maps and names before gathering the gumption to call upon the master of the keep now standing before me.


	3. Chapter 3

S

"Well, well, what have we here, a visitor! Can you believe that Sassy?" An old man's voice piped up from behind me followed by a little mew. Without warning a little gray cat with a thick coat of silky fur had entwined itself between my legs.

"Now, now, don't be frightened. She's only dangerous when she's angry. And she seems to like you," he remarked cheerily.

"What did you say her name was?" I asked the old man who had the air of a worn in gardener.

"I call her Sassy, but she'll hex you if you try the same. Sassanity's the name you can use," he chuckled as I blinked.

"Oh, Sassanity…" I tried the odd sound on my tongue and looked down cautiously at the creature wrapped around my calves. "And is there a proper way I might address you, sir?"

"Insy will do. And who might you be?"

"Sarah…" I hesitated, remembering that Sarah might not even be my real name.

"Hm…Sarah…" he eyed me with measured scrutiny. For a moment I thought he was preparing to scowl at me until his brows lifted into a playful smile. "Well then, a pleasure meeting you!"

"You wouldn't happen to know who lives in this keep, would you?"

"I would so happen, what's it to you?" he winked, and I realized I hadn't quite asked the right question. A strange sense of déjà-vu washed over me.

"Well, I was hoping to seek lodging somewhere and wanted to know if the master of this keep were kindly disposed to travelers."

"Oh I'd definitely know the answer to that question," he slapped his thigh with a thick hand and Sassanity rushed back over to rub against his ankle.

"Would you mind sharing the answer with me if it weren't too much trouble?" I ventured.

"Who says it's a trouble?" His response caught me off guard.

"Well no one if you don't," I retorted shakily, trying to come off as nonchalant.

"And how do you know I'm not trouble myself?"

"I don't, quite frankly, but my options are rather slim at the moment."

"Slim and slimmer if you don't get a regular supply of food in you! Goodness, who's been feeding you?! Come in, creature, you can have supper with me and Sassy."

Before I knew it I was being ushered into the belly of the keep. It was patterned with dark wood, beams and carvings, gaps filled with old junk, dusty relics, tapestries and wall hangings, here and there a dank and molded stone made itself visible, hinting at the outer structure of the fortress.

Sitting at the smallish kitchen table, Insy barely stopped talking. He asked me questions as he served, and Sassanity sat on her own chair at the table delicately licking apart what seemed to be fish fillet from a small platter. I had a fish soup and a thick slice of dark bread. Considering my hunger, probably anything would have tasted marvelous, but I take hardy satisfaction from such a rustic but filling meal.

"So, where do you come from? You sure look funny. But even hungrier than funny if I may say so. How long have you been walking?"

"Uh…" I couldn't think of what to say. If he knew I was running from the Goblin Castle would he think I was like Jareth? Or would he tell Jareth I was here? I row of questions passed through my brain and I realized saying too much to anyone might jeopardize my chances of finding out who I really was. The less everyone knew the better.

"Oh, I see, you like to keep things private, don't you, creature?"

"I'm not a creature."

"Sure you are. You can't even tell if your name's your name. And Sassy thinks you look as silly as me, but a lot prettier. As far as Sassy's concerned you're a creature like me. Only cats are people to her," an odd meow interrupted him and he turned to her, "Now don't be ornery. You and I both know how particular you are. At least you like this one, so go on and let me tease you."

We bantered on like that for the night. I gave up trying to find my bearings with the gentle but playful old man and let him play the jolly host. It so happened he had a spare room fit for accommodating a guest, and so he and Sassy made sure I was well tucked in for the night.

As I crawled under the covers and felt the stiff mattress settle into my back, Sassy came to rub her nose against my cheek and then disappeared. I was left alone with my thoughts and the very discomfiting realization that this bed was a strange bed in a stranger's home, albeit a friendly stranger. My consciousness leapt back to the softness of my bed in Jareth's castle, the feeling of his knee settling next to my side as the weight shifted. I could hear his voice soothing me, filling me with easy contentment, luxurious tales of far off places, or simply humming to me until I drifted off. I felt lonely. I wanted to fall asleep against his chest again. I wanted to reach out to him and nestle my face into his robe until he chided me, chuckling just so he could see my face once more. _And this man didn't love you_?

I tossed once reminding myself that I really couldn't say either way. I didn't know him. All I knew of him came from those intimate ours of recuperation in his castle. Everything else was a total blank. And worse, I didn't know my own history. A chill swept through me as I recalled that book. What if I were some victim of his? What if he was the one who'd erased my memory? How would I ever know? It seemed impossible to trust him, and yet the memories of his tenderness overwhelmed me. Forcing myself to be sensible, I fought the memories back with the rage and bitterness at my own loss of identity and orientation.

When I opened my eyes the next day, I was sure I'd dreamed of him. Pleasure mixed with pain echoed in the hollow of my chest. A part of me wanted to run back into that dream and live there forever. Another piece of me was scared beyond belief and in anguish to think that the love and company I craved most might just be a cruel illusion.

I resolved to stick to my mission. I had to find out who I was. There was no other way.

J

The castle feels so empty without her.

Believe it or not, I am what passes for an expert on the mortal world these days. Yet, if you were to ask me how I understand mortal love, how it compares with the amorous relations of the fae people, I would perhaps falter, for the distinction is not always easy to draw. I am pure fae, or was at one point, and so my expertise is also colored by my own experience. However, I can say one thing. We as the fae race live for eons and we are very hard to kill. Resilient and power hungry predators, our love tends to devolve into a struggle for dominance and grows callous, even venomous, over several thousand years. In the end many lovers end up becoming enemies or learn to rule over their mate in some rigid, sterile facsimile of love. In this way, we are like stones. We have such a diminished sense of our own mortality and limitations that arrogance tends to prevail over gentleness, greed triumphs over love and concern. Ironically, this I learned by watching mortals. I had much less sense of my own race before I became the keeper of the gate to the Aboveground. You often learn most about who you are by seeing how you are not the same as someone else. Still, I didn't learn everything all at once. In fact, I couldn't really understand most of it until I became part human myself.

You see, mortals live such short lives in comparison. They are so vulnerable to disease, oppression, and accident and as such so much more dependent upon one another than fae. It wasn't until I tasted that vulnerability myself and experienced the depth buried at the heart of what seemed like measly dependence that I began to truly understand the power of a mortal life.

I suppose there was a time when I wanted to rule over Sarah, make her mine in the old way. And yes, there was certainly a time when she felt like my enemy. But I see it all differently now. It is so strange having a piece of her fragile humanity inside me. And yet I do not feel fragile because of it. In a sense, she is already mine. The fae in me did just what fae do. I claimed her forcibly by taking a piece of her humanity forever. But in return I gave her a piece of myself. And it was through the uniting of human and fae magic that I managed to effect the bodily healing that saved her life. I absorbed some of her injury into my own body, which being fae could heal almost instantaneously. And I placed a part of my fae nature into her and hoped against all hope the two bits could join. I honestly did not know if she'd be able to accept the fae nature into herself. But she had, and the magic in it had helped me heal her from the inside. I had counted on the effect my fae nature might have on her, but I had not accounted for the effect her human nature would have on me.

The first effect it had was an incredible stirring of compassion. Now, fae can feel for one another, and strongly, at that. But this was something altogether new to me. It's hard to describe, but for the first time I wanted to help her, to succor her to health and life, and I did not really care if she loved me back or not. I did not crave power over her. But then she loved me back anyway. And that was the second effect I felt—intimacy, feeling utterly at one in the heart of a precarious flux of life and death. Yes, my fae nature would have rejoiced at her tender reception of my care, but the human side in me delighted most in being present for her. Really, I don't yet understand how to best express it. I just have my memories now. I try not to let them grow bitter in the wake of her departure. Something else my pure fae self would not have cared to avoid—the old me would have claimed anger and pride as his right and privilege. The new me just hopes that she finds her way in the world. Of course, it crushes me that she's gone. Of course, I want to relive those sweet moments of union we shared and more. But it was her choice to leave, her choice not to trust me. And because I loved her, I simply let her…

_Sarah if you can feel the part of you you left inside of me, come back. Come back. I wish you would come back_.

But what's the point in her return if she does not wish it herself? If she does not return because she means to stay?


	4. Chapter 4

**Trust is an Odd Thing**

S

I stayed on for many more days with Sassanity and Insy. They were kind and simple. I did my best to pick Insy for whatever information he'd have about the surrounding lands and began to wonder what step I might take next on my journey.

After several nights I began to get a sense of the surrounding countryside and even learned the names of all the nearest towns. It was clear this was a strongly rural area with very few commodities to trade with the more distant economic centers—about which I was also slowly learning. This was wine and grain country where there were people. And where there weren't settlements, it was a place of poorly mapped and explored enchantment on the edge of thick forests to the north and rocky tundra to the east. The gently sloping hills crowning the valley of the keep were empty of souls, yet nevertheless delightfully charming. During the day I'd go walking, trying to map the world from scratch and from the snippets we'd discussed over breakfast. In the evening I'd return and rifle guiltily through some of Insy's relics looking for hints or clues to a bigger picture I wasn't even sure I was a part of. Sassanity continued to take a liking to me and would often follow me across the hills, leading me to curious little spots filled with odd nests of little-known magic. She may have been a cat, but she was indeed a fairly effective teacher. Sassanity also liked to lead me to the little lake behind the keep, for she enjoyed showing off her skill at catching fish.

My sense of fairness eventually started to haunt me and I brought up the subject of my contribution to my hosts. I also took the opportunity to ask their advice on what I might consider doing with myself once I left for the wider world.

"Well, it's been a long time since I've left the valley, so I'm afraid my advice will be of little use."

"I'm sorry to ask, but I you two are the only people I know here."

"I know, creature, it's all right. I wish I had more books. I'm not much of a book person. Most of my things are trinkets and curiosities. Sassy says you like looking through those."

I turned a little pink and hoped I wasn't in trouble. Sassanity must have registered my discomfort, for she was in my lap before I could blink, purring.

"Look at that, I've never seen her take to anyone like she has to you," he mused with some astonishment.

The heat of her little feline body warmed me and filled me with a touch of awe. She was, after all, a very beautiful cat.

"You say the closest city is a week's journey away."

"In good weather, and assuming you don't meet any trouble on the way."

"But Larutan is a city with opportunities to work. It has culture, books, places of learning, people to ask, doesn't it? And well I can't stay here forever. I feel bad not doing my fair share."

"You amuse Sassy, which, trust me, is already enough. But if you feel bad, you can always help me organize my mess a little. It's better you wait for winter to pass, creature. The road will be very cold. The valley is warmer than the surrounding lands. Food is scarce en route, and you won't be the only hungry thing walking in the night."

I gulped and tried not to picture too much.

"Sorry, probably scared you. Anyway, you should winter here. Cleaning will take a while, and perhaps you'll find something useful in the mess. Then you can try your luck in the city."

My silence counted as my assent.

"There's something else I've wanted to ask you, Insy, if that's all right," I ventured, a little nervous to change the subject to something that had been preoccupying me since I left the castle.

His weathered eyes narrowed on me for a moment, and I could see from the lines on his leathery forehead he was trying to read the question in my heart before I asked it.

"The Goblin City," he stated finally. Triumph lit his ruddy cheeks, as he raised an inquisitive eyebrow.

"Is it that obvious?" I wondered if my feelings were really so transparent.

"You came from that direction. And there isn't much else you could have come from."

"Has anyone else ever come to you from the castle?" I checked nervously.

"Oh, the castle beyond the Goblin City! Ye demiurges below, only once and it wasn't a creature like you. But that was too long ago for your ears, my dear."

My brow furrowed at this new complexity. Simultaneously a shiver of relief shook me—at least other women without memories didn't run from the castle and show up in the neighboring lands on a regular basis!

"You wouldn't happen to know much about the Goblin King would you?"

"Considering where you've come from, you're probably much more in the know than me. But I won't pry, creature. I know how you are with your privacy. Sassy likes that about you, she wants me to tell you."

Sassanity was purring with her eyes half closed in my lap.

"But what do people say about him?"

"I don't talk to people often. Me and Sassy are kind of like a team. I really can't say. He's probably private like you anyway."

"So you don't think he's evil?" My eagerness stirred.

"Evil? Why, creature, what sort of notion have you got up there in your head! Do you think evil walks around with a sign on its back? We are all a bit of everything, a mixture of dark and light. Only time and circumstance can tell the difference between day and night. Trust everyone a little, and no one with all you've got. It's the only way to live," he winked.

_How does he know to talk about trust_?

"Ah…" for some reason, I had no ready quip for his wisdom.

"Sounds like miss creature needs to go to bed. We'll sort everything out more or less in time. You are of the impatient sort. It will cause you great pain, but at least you'll see a few things done in your lifetime," he tipped his greasy cap and shifted his address, "Sassy, come along, she needs to get up now, and you and I both know how much you hate being shoved off a lap…"

I climbed into bed that night reflecting on what Insy had said about trust. In some way he was right. Life is little more than being thrown in with a bunch of strangers, and if you don't start with at least a little trust, you'll never get anywhere. After all, I was a stranger to myself. And somehow I trusted I could find out who I really was again, trusted all the things I seemed to already do without thinking, all the assumptions that I already held as true about me. At the same time, a grain of salt doesn't hurt, even when dealing with oneself. Though clearly some people could be trusted more than others! Tossing and turning, I kept on hashing thoughts until at last I was wrenched from all cogitation by the nearly lifelike image of Jareth sitting beside me and looking into my eyes as I lay wide awake on the bed.

Knowing I was tired, and realizing it was just my own fantasy, I let his image keep me company, remembering the feel of his fingertips as they sifted through my hair, recalling his scent mixed with soft, warm kisses as I drifted off into unconsciousness…


	5. Chapter 5

**Born Again**

S

Naturally, I heeded Insy's advice and settled down with them for the winter. And I was glad of it very soon after my decision, for the temperature dropped considerably, making it clear to me the true dangers of traveling in such conditions. Plus, I had acquired two friends and a place to begin my quest. There was still so much about this world I did not know. Some things felt vaguely familiar, but rarely did I get the feeling that I'd lived in such a land before. Of and on I'd wonder if I really were an abducted mermaid and everything seemed so strange because in my previous existence everything had been underwater! Well, to be honest, the idea of water didn't really feel like home either, so I dropped that speculation fairly quickly. Sometimes I was angry at myself for not remembering, but the keep offered plenty of activities to divert my smarting impatience—at least for a time.

With time, I was able to pigeonhole the part of me that still yearned for Jareth. I knew entertaining that bit too much was dangerous, so I tried to focus on each day as it came instead.

I also became an expert on the local lands and acquired a very curious set of skills concerning cleaning, identifying and cataloguing odd relics and antiques. Insy praised me for my careful observations and my persistent inquisitiveness. The discovery of the extent of my natural intelligence was something of a relief. At least I was quick enough on my feet to make it look like I knew what I was doing! And fast enough to catch on before anyone realized the extent of my ignorance…

Things seemed to be progressing smoothly and I could almost smell the thawing of the ground. But one night while I was particularly engrossed in a pile of objects up in the attic of the keep, I chanced upon something that forever changed my perception of the keep and its inhabitants.

I was working by oil lamp. A thud rang from inside a cabinet still buried in old suits of armor. The thud caught my attention because it sounded like something I thought I'd never find in the keep: the muffled fluttering of pages in a book. Excitement melded with determination in my veins at the prospect. It took me another hour or so, but scratched and dusty I finally cleared the space around the cabinet.

Making use of a few tools I'd come across, I managed to persuade the misshapen cabinet doors to finally open. It was dark and musty inside. Startled, my hands brushed against some old cobwebs before finding their prize.

Leather bound, cracked cover, I slid the grimy cover over my itching palms. No title. Nothing gave the book away. A tremor ran through my fingers as I opened the sticky pages.

The script was unusual, but I managed to decipher it after a few lines—it was merely a variation of something else I knew. The pictures were water-damaged yet still striking and artful. There was a castle and a bridge on one page. The bridge seemed to span a realm. The castle was filled with one lonely figure with haunting eyes. It seemed to be a king with raven hair. Walking across the bridge was a mysterious and breathtaking woman. At the bottom of the page was a fruited tree sprouting from another rendering of the man and woman in a passionate embrace. On the following page was an equally beautiful castle filled with another pair of lovers. Curious, I gave myself over to the text and read about the second pair of lovers. They were guardians of the first castle and destined for one another through the ages but cursed…

"Jealousy and suspicion infected their unparalleled devotion. Suspicion sewed the dark seeds of infidelity and one night the Lord found his lady in the bed of a lesser being. Wrapped in the heart of rage, he hexed his love and made her take the form most resembling the lineage of her lover. In return, she spat back a hex at her most beloved Lord, stealing all his comeliness such that he would woo no other woman for the rest of his days…and only this book remembers the beautiful forms of these once happy guardians…"

Just as I started to turn the page to look at the image of their transformation, a crackling in the air caused me to look up from the page. My heart stopped. For what met my eyes defied both expectation and comprehension. I saw two figures floating in a field of magic.

It was Insy and Sassanity, but…

"Do not be afraid. We suspected you would find this book. However, there are consequences for those who read it," a rich female voice addressed me. I saw a cat and a woman wrapped in one form. The woman was strikingly beautiful with eyes that seemed to know me.

"No one has known our secret for many generations. We are the keepers."

"Because you have read that book, you must leave us, for a curse lies upon it and will avenge itself on you if you do not flee this land at once," Sassanity looked at me from the depths of compassion.

"The curse is ours to own. And worry not. We are no longer miserable," Insy's form merged with the chiseled beauty of a strange man. The fire in his eyes took my breath away.

"In our new forms, we have learned to love one another again," the female voice stated with cryptic warmth.

"But you must go."

"Yes, go. Quickly. Pack all you need. Go to Dardinian in Larutan. He is an old friend of ours." It was so strange seeing a cat and a woman all at once. Sassanity's voice left me spellbound in confusion.

"He does not know this of us, but we have known him as a guest in our own keep," the younger, richer male voice continued.

"We aided him in setting up his life in Larutan," Sassy was growing breathless.

"Our names should be sufficient to gain his trust," Insy assured with a booming resonance.

"Not many know of us." I blinked trying not to stare at Sassy's flowing robes.

"Hurry go! When you arrive at Larutan, cut your hair. You will need to sell it. And it must be short if you plan to work."

"Dardinian is a father and owns a shoe shop. He works with leather."

"Quickly! Let us handle the darkness in store."

"We thank you, but run! This curse was our own doing, we must face it alone. We shall protect you as best we can."

"We shall remember you."

I heard a great roar and ran down to get my things. The sound only increased, and I barely managed to grab a bag and fill it with provisions before the sound grew unbearable. My heart beat in my throat and I ran from the keep and the lake, not even daring to look back. I ran until the sound subsided and my ears stopped aching. And when I was done running, I cried.

I missed my friends already. I hoped they were all right.

Map in bag, I calculated my distance from the keep and started off on my journey to Larutan.

J

I'd like to think that as a fae I am not terribly tempted to dwell on the past. After all, I am fierce, strong, self-sufficient. I've seen much and most of it I don't need to share with anyone. Nonetheless, memories of those years before my fateful transformation haunt me now in the places I used to share with Sarah. I see a strand of her hair hitherto undetected dangling from one of my chairs in the library. I return now and then to her old room, trace my hand along the covers where she used to sleep and stare out the window that once served as her proxy to the rest of the world.

After she beat my labyrinth all those years ago I couldn't keep her from my mind. I followed her in my crystal or watched her from my owl form whenever I could. She became my obsession, and since it seemed harmless enough, I kept it up. I was tired anyway. I no longer had the energy to push myself away from my prized source of fascination. I was no longer in the height of fae youth, and the comfort of watching her soothed something in me, something I didn't really want to put my finger on. So I watched her rise into maturity. A beautiful, charming, intelligent human woman.

I watched with triumph and secret envy as the woman I loved stood at the beginning of a budding career. I caught all her distractions, her nights working, the little day jobs she took on to pay bills. I noticed how she kept her apartment—sometimes clean and comely, pleasant when she could manage or afford it. At other times she lived in a state of chaos matching the turmoil of the life around her. She was young, strong and well on her way to asserting her presence in the world of humankind. And I wanted her. But I couldn't have her. And it ate me alive. Still, I enjoyed watching her, taking secret satisfaction that she, like me, was some sort of loner—rarely having steady boyfriends, and if so, most relationships ending before they got off the ground, or so I told myself. There was a consolation in the knowledge that she too lived a life apart from the usual realm of companionship and simple sociability. Her dreams and her drive consumed her, you see. Most men couldn't understand it. And she clearly didn't harbor patience for men who couldn't understand her dream or the fire that plagued her waking efforts. I often wondered how much of our encounter she remembered. Every now and then I'd convince myself I heard her sigh my name before falling asleep, as I sat in owl form outside her window. But I didn't put too much stock in my own fantasies. After all, she was the one to refuse me at my own game all those years ago. I find it strange that the man who once secretly haunted her is now the only one to carry inside him everything she used to be. Life is clever at concocting such horrific ironies. Still, at least it was me. At least I have the privilege of knowing the life of one Sarah Williams, now Sarah of my own people. _Sarah Williams_, _I attended the funeral put on by your parents. You realize you're dead in your own world, don't you? No, that's for me to carry and for you to seek out in time, perhaps._

Then again, maybe it is better she left when she did. Now she can start a new life here without ever having to face the truth that she has died in her own world and lost everything she had worked so hard to bring to fruition.


	6. Chapter 6

S

Fortunately, the temperatures were already on the rise. I hadn't packed as much as I would have liked, but I managed to ration the provisions carefully and supplement them with late winter berries, water from brooks, and sundry other edibles I'd discovered during my romps through the lands around the keep.

I used the sun to track my course and hoped I knew what I was doing.

There were villages. Hiding my hair under a hood just in case, I managed to stay in the homes of farmer families here and there. People seemed to welcome me with ease, and that was always a comfort. I also had the opportunity to re-orient myself with each layover, setting out in the morning along the path pointed out to me by my latest host.

By my calculations I was now only a few days from Larutan. My previous host had warned me of a bog filled with trees and caves possessing mysterious properties.

"And all who rest for the night in that place run screaming in the morning. Those who return safely are forever changed. Some never return."

The recollection of his words left my body numb. Especially now that I realized the ground was beginning to give. There was a path to follow, but the soil was clearly transitioning to marshland, and I knew of no other route to Larutan…

J

I have a lot of time to reflect these days. Sometimes I can distract myself with regular duties. Other times I find myself drifting back to those first delicate memories of her arrival in my castle.

That fateful night, I used my magic at the scene of accident. Her body was too broken to transport. The details are fuzzy to even me at this point. I suppose it's the human side blotting out a memory too vivid for my own good. I was frantic, trying everything I could think of. It kept her breathing, but I knew it couldn't fix the real damage done. My hands were covered in blood. _Her blood_. Then something came over me. I saw in an instant a magic so powerful, it nearly overwhelmed me. It felt like heat exploding from my chest, a pressure so intense I could barely see. I had to steady myself to focus on it. I'm not sure how I knew how to wield the spell, but I wasn't asking questions at that point. A foreign peace settled on me just long enough so I could perform the task.

She was lying unconscious but no longer bloodied on a bed in my castle. The shell of her body—something between a glamour and remnants of what I couldn't bring with me—sat motionless at the scene of the accident. That is what they buried at her funeral. But you see, the energy of the transformation shifted her center from the realm of humans to mine. She is truly a creature of the Underground now, just as much as I am. We both lost fragments of ourselves at that scene, I'm sure of it. At least, I was able to conserve and salvage the important parts of her. When I took on a part of her humanity and gave her some of my fae essence, there must have also been a slight shift in mass. I never went back to check, but the blood lining her crushed car was probably a mixture of hers and mine. Still, I weathered the draining well. I could feel weakness, but it was nothing like hers.

She was unconscious for weeks. And clearly in constant pain. I wrung my hands day after day, sifting through my library, searching for little spells and techniques to ease the raging war inside her body and her psyche. For while I'd managed to grant her a renewed body, the psychic pain of the injury still dwelt within. She had been on the verge of death when I transformed her, and so her spirit was still struggling to return to the world of the living, even as it grappled with all the trauma from the accident. Not only that, but her spirit was reconnecting with a new body and altered nature. But she was a fighter. Just like when she beat my Labyrinth all those years ago, she never gave up.

And one beautiful day, I saw peace returning to her strained brow. Hope lit in me, and I prayed to who knows what deity that the healing process might continue. Soon she began to stir in response to my presence. I'll never forget the first time she turned her head to come closer to me. At last her eyes grew strong enough to open. I couldn't have felt a greater joy.

There came a day when she was conscious enough to realize she did not remember anything from before. I wasn't surprised at her lack of orientation, but I hadn't realized how much the transformation had cost her. You see, I had used her name and she seemed to recognize it, so I thought maybe she remembered some things. But that was only because she trusted me. I realized soon enough she could remember nothing of the accident and her life preceding it. Guilt rushed in with a vengeance the moment the extent of her psychological trauma became apparent to me. Guilt—a very human emotion.

"Tell me your name," she murmured sweetly. Despite the affection in her voice, I couldn't hide my shock at her request. _So you don't remember me at all?_ Admittedly, at first I thought she'd forgotten our time in the Labyrinth from before, but it didn't take long for me to understand the memory loss was far more extensive.

"Jareth. I'm Jareth. I'm your friend," I added carefully.

"You're my angel," she corrected. I was taken aback.

"I assure you, I am no angel. I am king of this castle, but to you I am merely a friend."

"Castle…oh, you mean this place is large?"

"Large and complicated, I'm afraid."

"Is that why you go away and then come back? You have a large castle?"

"What, do you miss me when I'm gone?" I cursed my pulse as it began to race.

"You're my world. Of course I miss you. You were the light I saw when…" she fell silent.

I took her hand and squeezed it.

"Sarah…" I tried to bring her back to me.

She nodded and squeezed my hand in return.

"Do you remember anything before this castle?" I held my breath, knowing I'd probably asked too soon.

She lay for a moment with her eyes searching the ceiling as if for a clue. Finally she moved her head lightly as if to say 'no.' A wave of compassion propelled my lips to her forehead. Withdrawing, I caught her wondrous green eyes staring at me with unspeakable innocence.

"Don't worry, I'll be back." I reassured her. Emotions were too strong. I had to get away and think things over.

"I know you will," she stated with absolute trust. My heart clenched.

From that day on, I knew it wouldn't be easy. But for some reason her trust made me forget all the pitfalls and the tragedy of her condition. I lived in sweet denial. My only thought was not to disappoint her…


	7. Chapter 7

AN: this will be a lot from Sarah's perspective, but I hope you like it!

**Finding Roots in the Desert**

S

It seemed inevitable. I'd have to sleep along the trail in the middle of the marsh lands. The trees were mostly pine, clustering and pitted with scars. Rocks and outcroppings shielded the horizon from view. The smell of peat and moss overwhelmed my nostrils.

I'd been warned about the caves, so I wasn't planning to sleep in the mouth of any of the rocks. As dusk wrapped its heavy arms around the sky, I found a cluster of trees and did my best to arrange some branches into a little partition in some useless gesture of self-protection.

My palms were sweating as the night set in. I lay awake for what seemed like hours. There were no stars visible to tell the time by. Only darkness. I started to wonder if what I heard was only an amalgam of rumor and folklore. In any case it just sounded like people got scared and ran away. Maybe they let their imaginations run away with them. _After all, everyone loves a good scare_… My thoughts wandered, trying to make my situation bearable. At last I began to drift asleep.

A sound filled me and grew steadily louder. I must have fallen asleep, for my eyes snapped open in alarm as I realized the sound was coming from without. It was a very strange, pinched roar coupled with a deep rushing crash of wind. Then I saw light, two large lights rushing towards me. The sound became unbearable, I wanted to scream, to… _Help! Oh God Help! No, No! Not to me_. I tried to drive off the road but it was too late. I felt the steering wheel under my frozen hands and braced myself for the impact. Everything in my body cried out. _So this is how it ends_, I thought to myself as the sound and lights threatened to overtake my waking mind.

But then I felt something flow from inside me. Peace. Peace poured out of my center and wrapped around me like a blanket. My breathing began to return to normal. The sound subsided, the lights grew dim. I remembered the feeling of lying in bed in the castle and knowing Jareth was about to come in the room. I remembered the way he would come to my bedside and smile at me with those ice blue eyes, lit with love and warmth. Heaving a sigh, I felt my chest relax and my heart rate return to normal. Sleep took me, and I woke in the morning as if nothing had happened.

The memory of last night's dream sat strangely with me as I collected my things and started off for the morning. The danger had felt so real. I swear I saw and heard things with my waking mind, and yet…

In any case, I was nearly to my destination. I kept my head set on the goal and pushed forward with unshaken determination, hoping everything else would run smoothly.

Little flowers were starting to bloom everywhere. It truly was a special time to be traveling on foot.

J

I woke with a jolt, my body covered in sweat. My heart was beating as if in a fury. Darkness and the empty echoes of stone was the only thing to welcome my ragged pants.

Fear was to blame. But it was not my fear that stirred in me. _Sarah_… My insides ached at the thought she might be in trouble. My first impulse was to reach for a crystal and see where she was. But for some reason I knew I didn't have time. A current opened within me, as instinct pushed me to concentrate on the magic already brewing.

It was still black all around me. Eyes closed I focused on a light at my center, like a porthole. I could not see anything at the other end, but I could feel fear and… At once I knew it was Sarah. Somehow the transfer had connected us. Our life forces were tied together in a delicate, mysterious bond, and I was feeling her acute fear. Her panic spiked with a violence that made my stomach cramp, and I understood I had to act.

Harnessing a force I did not even realize dwelt in me, I sent a surge of magic through the porthole open in my soul. Trusting the magic would know what to do when it got there, I continued to send energy through to Sarah until I felt her fear subside. Wanting to make sure she was safe, I stayed up till dawn monitoring the sensations I could gather from the porthole within me and sending protective magic out to wherever she might be. I had never read of this sort of enchantment. It was entirely new to me, and yet I did not question it. For some reason, it just made sense. Sometime early in the morning, I felt the opening that led to her emotional center close. I hoped that meant she was now at peace. Still mildly uneasy, I flicked my wrist at last to search out her image amongst the realms of the Underground. To my dismay my crystal only came up misty. Wherever she was, the magic around her was strong enough to blind my own powers of location and surveillance.

I had trouble eating that day.

Throughout the afternoon I tried to find that gateway inside myself that could reconnect me to her essence, but to no avail. I tried to tell myself I'd be able to feel if she had suffered injury or death. If I had felt her fear, certainly I would have felt anything more…

I spent the night nervously reading in my study. I don't think I absorbed much of what I read.

As dawn broke on the horizon, I checked a crystal once more. To my surprise and partial relief I saw farmland and the edge of a forest. Things were still partially obscured in fog, but I realized she must be making progress on her journey. The longer I inspected the fog, the clearer it became that some alien protection was keeping her image from me. I squinted and could not quell the bubble of indignant rage that rose within me at the realization.

"Whoever you are, she's mine…" I growled without thinking.

In the following days I continued to check my crystals. It bothered me to no end knowing that someone else was protecting her from me. _How do they even know I am watching her_? Magic of surveillance was one of my fortes. It would take a powerful sorcerer even to detect the energy from my spell, much less hinder me.

In any case, I saw the farmland at last give rise to a city. The image was too blurry to know for certain, but I could guess which city she'd arrived in. _Larutan? Is that where you are Sarah? What do want there? How do you plan to live_? Curiosity niggled my waking moments and eventually I had to give up looking in the crystals for my own peace of mind. It was hard not to check, but I managed to force myself back into a routine of self-discipline—once a week, tops. It's not like I could make out the figures that floated like blobs in my crystal orb anyway.

S

Life in the city filled me with a strange nostalgia I could not quite pin down. But I loved being so near the sea.

I settled into my new life and did as Insy and Sassanity suggested. I cut my hair upon arrival and sold it to a wigmaker. The feeling of fast coins in my pocket gave me courage and protection from the threatening sense of vulnerability in this large and bustling city. Larutan must have been host to several hundred thousand souls at least. I'm not sure how, but I had the sense I had seen larger cities before, so guessing the population came more or less naturally to me.

I found Dardinian's shoe shop and made my introduction. Once I told him about Insy and Sassanity, his mistrust softened into a warm welcome and I found myself lodged in a small bed up in the back corner of the third floor of the building. The first floor was the shop. The second floor was some sort of warehouse, and the third floor housed his family. My privacy was marginally curtailed, but I didn't have to worry about procuring meals, as his wife and children had a good time trying to figure out what I'd eat. As they were all rather different from me—being covered in fur and generally gristly in appearance, we tended to eat a lot of fish. The children also got a rise out of trying to get me to eat odd magical berries, bugs and other sundry unpalatables. Generally my instinct served me well, but there was one night Dardinian came upstairs to a rather blue-ish face and icicles dangling from my ears—they'd slipped some dried ice berry powder into my evening tea infusion. Sniggering cackles met with harsh consternation that night as his wife Strawly helped me get back into form with the aid of several pints of hot cider and some very questionably smelling herbs.

After a week, I broached the topic of remuneration, and though I understood Dardinian to be a fairly generous and well meaning beast, I also understood he had a family to feed and that it probably would bode well for me if I saw to the matter of regular rent sooner rather than later. Luckily, the coins from my hair were still handy. I asked him what he thought might be a reasonable rent for this area and then asked him what a pair of men's shoes might cost to make.

With his help and the help of his sweet children who were not above sharing with me several of their hand-me-downs, I managed to pull off the outfit of a page. Now suitably attired, I set out to comb the city looking for work. I had an idea of what I wanted to do. I wanted to work with books and manuscripts. It'd earn me money and give me a chance to research—perhaps I'd come across something helpful in my quest for self-discovery.

…

Okay, so I got a little side-tracked from my task of seeking employment. It'd been months since I'd seen a proper library, and when I realized books were a major economic item in this city my heart did a couple summersaults of joy. First I saw them in carts in the market, then I found the quarters with curiosity shops, and finally the streets devoted only to the written art. Day after day, blood zinged and whipped through my brain as I did everything I could to process these new surroundings.

I went through the old bookstores in the city with some success. Unfortunately, without funds, most people were reluctant to let me scavenge through their wares. Still, I managed to make a little headway. I kept finding references to another realm where another race dwelt. It reminded me of what I'd read in the book in Jareth's library. Humans lived in that realm mostly unaware of the world of fae. It seemed strange to me to contemplate—for after all, were not the fae generally ignorant of the world of humans? I'd never come across any book that claimed to have hard evidence for the existence of humans. And yet the notion of a parallel realm, remote from the daily goings-on of the fae and their sister races, gripped my imagination. For some reason this so-called mystical realm haunted my daydreams. I tried with little success to picture a world different from the one I now knew, but refused to accept the limitations of my own mind. The thought possessed me. In the end, I couldn't contain myself. What if the human realm was real? Being somewhat skeptical, I only dared to entertain the possibility as a curious fantasy, but I let the world slip with the children at home just to gauge their reaction.

"Humantales, that's all you're talking about. Don't be silly. Humans only exist in stories!"

"Creature's silly. Creature thinks humans are real!"

The three little beastlets guffawed at one another as my mind raced from the words I'd come across earlier that day.

"Now, children, it has a name. Its name is Sarah, not creature," the hum of Strawly's voice chided over a line of freshly hung laundry soaking up the sun through the wide open windows at the front of the house.

"We know, we know! But it likes our name. It told us its name was Creature!"

It's true, I rather liked the way Insy and Sassy used to refer to me. And since I tended think of the children as beastlets, one day, out of playfulness, I had told them the story of how I acquired the title 'creature.'

Anyway, I gleaned a few extra humantales from the beastlets plus one story that caught me entirely off guard…

"No, you're not telling it right!" the eldest broke in on the other two and looked at me with eyes filled with frustration seeking validation, as if to say: _see, you and I are the only reasonable ones here_. I smiled at her attempts to identify with me and nodded waiting for her to speak.

Her furry brow leveled with mine and then turned to quiet her siblings. Obediently, the other two settled down and found a seat snuggled against one another on the carpet. I watched with bemused features as Karly the eldest drew us into her world with all the instincts of a born performer.

"Once upon a realm there was a great sorrow. The sorrow came from people not knowing that there was something more than regular life. Their lives seemed small and sad and no one knew that there were other realms and other times and other races…"

I raised my eyebrows with marked appreciation for this precocious youth. She truly had a gift.

"But what no one knew was that there existed a bridge between their realm and another neighboring realm. The bridge was invisible. But one king was clever and discovered the bridge, stumbling over it one day. It didn't take him long to guess what it was. Since he was a brave and daring king, he crossed the bridge and found a new world. It was different from the world he knew and still familiar. There were men and women who looked like him. He found a beautiful woman there and fell in love with her. Since he was a king, his magic was strong and so he wooed her with gifts and promises of his own realm. Over time the woman returned his love and they went back to the king's realm together. But since she missed her own world, she did not want to live far from the bridge. The king was also thoughtful and realized how powerful such a bridge was, so he built a castle to protect it and to house his queen, who could return over the bridge and see her loved ones. Everyone was happy…the queen had several children and in time the magic of her new world entered her so that she learned to be a sorceress as well. The children went out in the world and brought happiness to everyone because they were a mixture of fae and human. They brought a different kind of magic to their world. And everyone was happy again…"

Karly stared at us all with satisfaction. I was still on the edge of my seat but I realized she had finished her story.

"So what happened after that?" I asked tentatively.

"I don't know, it's just a story. What do you think it really happened?" She teased me and turned to her siblings before running off to help her mother.

And that was that. The image I saw in the book I found in the keep returned to me—a castle and a bridge, a couple under a tree with fruits. I wondered if they were variations of the same story. Mentally I kicked myself for not reading that part more carefully. Anyway, perhaps I'd find more answers here in Larutan. I reminded myself that patience was necessary for any recipe of progress.

All in all, I felt rather confident. My coins were almost gone, but I had an inkling as to where I might find work. The book sellers didn't trust a vagabond like me, but I'd noticed several publishing houses along the outskirts of the city, not too far from the shoreline. I would do some reconnaissance first and then present myself as page seeking employment.

…

As I lay in my bed trying to set aside my plans for the next day, I attempted what I usually do anymore. I tried to search my own mind for a clue to who I might have been. Sometimes through association, sometimes through cataloguing every skill and every fact I can recall, and sometimes, I still think of Jareth and the time I spent with him…

Anyway, I have tried thousands of times to remember my life, but every time I attempt it only the echo of an unspeakable scream wrenches through my body, and then everything is lost. Sometimes I wonder if I could just withstand the scream, somehow penetrate its depths, a flash of illumination would follow and I could see the moment preceding; and that if I could but see the moment preceding, I would understand everything.

As it stands, all I can remember is what comes after the scream, and even parts of that are not particularly clear. Except for one part…

For the longest time there was a great pain and a darkness swallowing me. The pain seemed to go on endlessly. I felt as though it would never cease. I must have tried to thrash, but I could not recognize my own body. Only pain. I thought I was dead or dying. Miraculously, the pain began to ebb after what seemed like an unbearable eternity. And as the pain began to subside, I became aware of a gentle presence. I still couldn't see, but somehow strange factures of light and glowing shades filled the blackness of my mind whenever the presence drew near. I began to respond to the presence. The more I sought it out, the lighter my world grew and my suffering lessened. From the light flowed the shimmering glint of colors—at present the first colors I ever remember seeing. Sparks of life rained on my fevered consciousness until peace seeded itself in my core once more. Warmth gripped me, and I felt something new. I felt _cared for_, even though I wasn't sure who it was that had decided to care for me. I understood the light was a being, a person. And I understood the person flowed with loving warmth for me. My soul drank from that warmth as though it were an oasis amid the desert. I felt my spirit stir, reaching out to greet that light even when my body was still immobile. The first time I felt my body instead of the jarring pain was in a moment of recognition. I felt a hand on my temple and tried to press my head against it, for I didn't want the hand to move away from me. I wanted the light to stay with me. I wanted to feel it touching me, bringing life to my body. I must have fluttered my eyelids, or perhaps even managed to move my head a little, as I heard a name spoken to me.

"Sarah," relief, surprise, tenderness and something else rendered the tone teeming against my still ringing ears. And so I first heard the name which I thenceforth recognized to be my own. The voice was rich and continued. I loved that it continued, even though I was still too weak to make out the words. The voice was just like the light—filled with love, care, warmth, comfort.

I was like a plant growing out instinctively toward the sun, the sun of loving compassion and tender care. Perhaps I can admit it to myself now—I embraced the love that surrounded me in those days and responded with matching fervor. It was as though I somehow remembered him from before. The voice soon became the form of a man, and my body slowly regained a sense of itself. I was weak but lived for the moments he would touch me lightly on the forehead or squeeze my hand. One day I was strong enough to squeeze back. The next week I was strong enough to turn my head and nestle my cheek into his palm. Two weeks after that I was able to lift his hand to my lips and kiss it. That changed things for him, I think. Looking back, I'm not sure if he was expecting that from me. But I continued. I could not imagine a warmth more comforting more sumptuous than the heat I felt radiate from his heart. Finally one day, he decided to help me sit. I wasn't sure if I could, but he let me steady myself against his chest, and as I looked out the window on a sunlit kingdom, bathed in gentle rays and realized I had seen nothing but this room for perhaps two months, I turned to him and kissed him. Yes, that wasn't particularly ladylike of me. But I was overjoyed, and he held me so sweetly making sure I didn't miss the panorama of his glorious labyrinth spread out beneath me… I kissed him not with the passion of bold lovers but with tender tenacity, clinging to him so as not to fall back on the bed. He held me, folding my frail frame into his embrace, at length daring to softly kiss me back. And that is how we lived—for months. As I regained my strength, he showed me more of the castle. I found my legs at last but not without several falls, temper tantrums and fits of laughter. Sometimes pain would seize my body and he would tend to me with assiduous devotion. And at the end of almost every day he would coddle me asleep in his arms. My heart sensed it had never known such paradise. And so I trusted him with everything I was, until the ghost of my past began to haunt me…

_I'm sorry, Jareth, I'm not sure why I left you some days. You never hurt me_.


	8. Chapter 8

**Blessed Competence**

I'd finally found an employment prospect. I decided brazen was my best face for selling my novice skill set.

"Why don't they simply create some device to make copies mechanically? Wouldn't it be more efficient?" I challenged.

"You don't understand, and frankly that worries me if you're planning to stay in this industry. Books, scrolls, parchments are not merely words, they are also magic. The only way to transmit the magic is through the efforts of a bone fide scribe. It takes magic to reproduce a text. I thought this would have already been obvious to you."

"Oh, I just thought for a moment it might also be done differently." I blinked, certain that somewhere people replicated books without the use of scribes. But all that was foggy, and I still doubted myself in many things.

"I hope you are able to write."

"Yes of course," I retorted, gulping at the thought that I'd never tried to write something infused with magic before. Still, I wasn't going to let that fact stop me from attempting. Who knows, perhaps I just couldn't remember it correctly. I had read the books in Jareth's study, had I not? He'd shown me the different scripts, helping me to understand the ones less familiar. _And then you read a book and got angry at him, how considerate_. I shrugged the pang of guilt from my chest and looked into the scrutinizing eyes of my future employer. Grimble was the supervisor for the copyist. He was a tall dwarf, but still considerably shorter than me. His gruff voice and bulbous nose gave me the feeling I'd seen him somewhere before. I did my best to look determined and un-intimidated, waiting for the lines in Grimble's face to soften.

"We'll start you with something simple. I don't want you ruining any important commissions." Relief swept over me at the realization that I was indeed hired.

By the end of the day, I'd signed a piece of paper that recognized me as an official employee of the publishing house. This also meant I'd be earning a wage. Triumph filled my limbs and chest. I lit up with the knowledge I'd be able to pay my promised rent to Dardinian and his family. It felt good to be able to do my part.

Within a week I'd more than mastered the technique. At first I'd been nervous, afraid I wouldn't be able to infuse writing with magic, but to my surprise, once my pen had made initial contact with the page something wonderful snapped in the center of my being. I could feel the magic pouring out of me. It was a delicious sensation. Moreover, my penmanship improved with frightening speed. Within two weeks I was the top scribe in my section. By the end of the month I was the favorite of the whole floor.

You see, the building was divided into floors. The first floor held all the scribes. The basement stored supplies. And the upper two floors were for business and administrative offices. There was a fancy stairwell in the back of the building for ushering in high end clientele and sparing them the sight of us motley page boys scribbling away at work.

For the first time that I could remember, I savored my own competence and sense of responsibility. I read many scripts, memorizing large portions of them as I carefully copied each one. My knowledge of the world grew in scope and depth, enriching my own sense of self. I came to understand that many differing opinions floated in the world of Underground learning, and I learned to analyze each one with a critical and well-informed eye. Whatever I had initially read in the library in Jareth's library I now saw in a different light. Maybe there had been some explanation. At least, that was how I made sense of the conflict between my memories of the Goblin King and the dark picture I read in that book.

One day, sitting amongst my fellow scribes busy at our midmorning task, a memory rushed back into my mind. I blotted out the vision of cobble stone streets outside and journeyed back to the Goblin Castle. Jareth's voice was coddling me. I felt weak, but his embrace held me. I sat on his lap pressed warmly into his firm chest and stared out a window over his labyrinth. He told me stories of his subjects as he pointed out the different regions visible to the naked eye. Sultry silken voice resonated against my ribcage. A finger fiddled with my hair, his cheek against my ear, a hand moved softly down the side of my neck, and a kiss upon my temple. Even in that cold, hard desk, with my hand sore from copying, I could still feel my body melt at the recollection. The unspoken sensual awoke in me, and my body called to be sitting there again, pressed snugly against him, bathing in his oddly patient, nurturing yet profoundly intimate affection. For the first time in nearly a year I felt a different sort of aloneness—not lost, but this time as though missing a piece of myself. _Jareth, I'm sorry. Perhaps you really did love me, and I just couldn't understand_. My imagination persisted and I wondered what the nip of his lips against my ear might have felt like… We had been like lovers yet somehow innocent of lovers' games. At last, the strength of my desire for him dawned on me, overwhelming my senses and my heart.

"Ahem…"

Grimble'd caught me staring off into space. His bald head floated level with my writing desk. Rules were strict here, and I swallowed hard pretending to look fully engrossed in my task. Seeing I my renewed zeal, he let me alone to my task. I tried to be more careful about letting my daydreams get the best of me that day. Once finished with my work, I left to go stroll along the boardwalk by the sea—my thinking spot—before returning home. Reflections wrapped around my weary mind like tangled scarves fluttering in the breeze.

_It is a sad but true occurrence that we visit the demons of our past upon the faces of those who love us in the present._

_And in my case, it had been only a matter of time. Yes, I see it now finally. I wonder if I will ever get the chance to tell him. _

_I'm certain now in my past life I must have been known for my temper. I've managed to temper it since, but one of the first emotional challenges of my new life was coming to grips with my own raging impatience and impetuosity_.


	9. Chapter 9

**Confrontation with Patience**

J

I had to find whoever was interfering with my magic. It didn't take me long to survey the lands along the path Sarah had presumably taken from the castle oh so long ago. At first I thought I'd fly home without an answer. After all, there was no telling whether Sarah first started in one direction and then wound her way slowly back in another. It was really little more than instinct that told me she had taken a relatively straight shot out of my lands to the surrounding countryside and finally on to Larutan. And of course, I also had no idea where the magic protecting her originated. For all I knew it had spotted her much as I had, though I had difficulties believing that to be the most likely scenario. After all, no one had known of her arrival or her presence in my castle. In any case, I wanted to know who it was that protected her. Curiosity bubbled within me mixing with odd phantoms of worry and possessiveness. I stewed with determination.

And so I flew and surveyed.

At last it occurred to me I was looking at an old castle ruin. For some reason, the sight seemed familiar, but I could not immediately recall any associations. I alighted on a branch in a neighboring tree and decided to wait and observe.

My project carried on uneventfully for several mildly tense hours. I really had no idea if I was on the right track or not. For all I knew, the Goblin King could have been sitting like a mindless loon in front of an old heap of uninteresting rock. But I had to be sure. At length, an old man with a hat drawn low over his brow came walking up from the lake. I tensed, lightly startled after all those hours of interminable science. But soon I came to the conclusion he was nothing more than a local peasant squatting in the ruins before me. He certainly held no air of royalty or aura of power. Nearly losing interest, I continued studying his motions idly for a minute or so more when I felt a strange quiver on the branch behind me. Heart racing I made to take flight, but I was snatched in a pair of delicate claws and falling straight for the earth before I had a chance to react.

The earth ricocheted through my hollow bird bones with a sickening thud. A soft silken weight secured me shocked body. Without waiting another moment I transformed back into my human form. The wind was clearly knocked out of me; I felt bruises on my arms, knees and even face. My head ached throbbing on a stiff neck. I heard an indignant meowl and saw a grey feline scatter out from beneath my feet. My eyes immediately darted to a curious black mark on her right thigh. She also seemed to be limping.

Furious I began to draw out a crystal, but to my surprise, the old man spoke with unprecedented self-command.

"That won't be necessary. We know who you are, Jareth."

"And who might you be?!" I couldn't keep the anger out of my tone. After all, I had just been assaulted. The crystal was still glowing in my clenched fist, but slowly I felt a dampening power seep into the ball and its light began to dim.

"Calm yourself," the man commanded, as I traced his gaze to my balled fist. I suddenly realized he was truly in a position to command me.

"So you have been spying on my Sarah?" I accused darkly, even though I knew he could overpower me if he wished.

"Well, that's certainly the pot calling the kettle black, wouldn't you say Sassy? I pray for your sake you haven't hurt her," the old man's bristling energy seemed to relax into the playful jaunt of an acquaintance. It caught me entirely off guard. I instantly forgot the crystal still tucked against palm.

"No, my love, he didn't hurt you?" the man continued, ignoring me now and focusing on the gray cat whose movements betrayed an unusual degree of intelligence. This was no ordinary cat. And the black spot was starting to look more and more like a wound. Studying the two's interaction, I quickly spotted a stiffness of the hip in the old man. His gate mirrored her limp. Perhaps magic had been involved.

"So, you want to know who we are?" The man turned to me again.

"Yes, I would," I stated firmly, making sure to meet his eyes with a hawkish glance.

"Come inside and join us for dinner, would you? This may take a while," he invited with something akin to resignation under husky voice.

I nodded and warily followed them into the castle ruins. Since he was clearly more powerful than I on this land I really had no choice but to gracefully accept the invitation. I certainly was in no mind to be forced into it.

It took me awhile to get comfortable, but after a while I felt miraculously at home with the two. I watched them eat dinner, and they answered some of my question. _Yes, Sarah had been here. Yes, we looked after her. Correct, she left for Larutan at the end of winter_. Sensing their power and realizing they had grounds for wishing to protect Sarah with a spell after spending a season together, my concerns gave way to rising relief. Here was a magic powerful enough to detect and block part of mine. And here was a pair who'd grown attached to Sarah through quite understandable means. The mystery appeared to be solved.

"Before you go, we must ask of you one thing."

I had been twitching with a mild case of restlessness for the past half hour. At once I leaned forward and stopped my boot from twitching.

"Look very closely, Jareth. And tell us what you see."

It seemed like an odd request. But considering this was the Underground, I was more than happy to oblige. As I scrutinized the old man and his cat, I got a funny feeling in my stomach.

"We wanted to know the depth of your natural intuition," a female voice filled the room.

I was no longer looking at a man and his cat. I had transitioned from my regular source of vision to a more internal one, something I rarely do anymore. But now I saw the finely chiseled sorcerer and the breathtaking sorceress for who they really were. The source of the wounds also became clear. Each bled from the right hip in a slow, partially cauterized wound, dried blood congealed on flowing robes. Clearly they had absorbed some sort of curse or hex.

"You're wounded," was the first thing that came out of my mouth.

"Pay it no mind. We did it to protect. We are the Protectors. And we have a duty, as do you," rang the male voice.

"We are afraid we cannot lift the ban on your surveillance of Sarah. You must be content with not seeing her for now. For as Protectors we must protect you both, and this sometimes means from one another. You are not ready yet, nor is she. You must be patient if you wish to see her again."

"What do you mean protectors? And why do I need protection? I have my powers, my labyrinth and my castle. I thank you for helping Sarah, but this is not necessary," I objected, thoroughly confused.

"There is much you do not yet understand. Be patient. Love is a patient thing."

"I didn't come here to talk about love. Sarah's made her choice. I simply wish to see to her wellbeing."

"Patience. Trust for now that Sarah fairs well. She will contact you when she is ready. Patience will prepare you for your trials. She will need your help, and you will be the one to give it. But be careful. There is nothing more basic than love in the universe, but love is nevertheless no simple matter for our kind."

With the woman's voice echoing in my head I felt a whirlwind force similar to the flush of glitter and wind that accompanied my normal transports to the Aboveground. My gut lurched and fear gripped me for a split second only to give way to utter bewilderment as I found myself standing in a dim hallway in my own castle only seconds later.

"How odd," I mused aloud.

This was most definitely an occasion for making use of my library. I wondered if I could find anything more about 'the Protectors' and the source of their power. I could only hope they were mostly benevolent beings, for it seemed Sarah and I were in some sense at their mercy.


	10. Chapter 10

**The Perks of Being Oneself**

S

_My hair is starting to grow past my ears again. I rather like having part of it back_.

I lived my professional life under a misleading pretext—that of being a young man. I generally pulled the act off rather well, assiduously wearing clothes that carefully concealed my bust and underplayed my hips. However, one fateful day my employer recognized I was no page boy. I had worried about it being found out beforehand, but a part of me had simply continued on in denial, never imagining I'd have to face the day when my true identity would become clear to all. Moreover, by some strange twist of fate, the fact of my being a woman ended up working out in my favor, as the owner of our firm happened to be a formidable fae sorceress, who upon hearing of my case, personally came to our site to congratulate me for my utter temerity and technical excellence. But I get ahead of myself.

You see, Grimble, my superior had gotten it into his head that I would do much better with a proper girl friend. I knew he had been intimating the idea, trying to get me to take notice of the ladies who came by to pick up orders or who happened to pass by in the alley. I had shown my characteristic indifference and apparently this had only goaded him on to more elaborate schemes for ending my long streak of celibacy.

So he rounded us all into a pub one night and paired each of us up with a piece of feminine company, making sure my companion would be among the most eager for engaging in certain activities. To be fair, she was a pretty little elf three quarters my height with bright purple eyes. But as the rounds of beer tallied up I was horrified to discover she was absolutely insatiable and would not take no for an answer. Her name was Teline.

"No, really I…I don't do these sorts of…" I stammered, already tipsy.

She put a hand on my arm and I tried to wriggle away.

"You're just young and scared, but I'll show you." This time she reached for the top of my thigh.

My eyes bugged at her boldness. Her doe eyes batted at me with glee.

"No, I assure you, Teline, Grimble's given you the wrong idea about me. I'm not looking for a girlfriend. I've already got one." I picked her hand off my leg and slid in the opposite direction, just a few inches short from hopping to the next bar stool altogether.

"Sure, and now you can have two. No one's counting."

I rolled my eyes and clenched my teeth. _That lie obviously didn't work_. The other boys were drunk, but some were clearly staring. Naturally they couldn't comprehend why I wouldn't appreciate the advances of one of the prettiest girls in the room. Jealousy sparked out of the edges of my peripheral vision as I tried to keep things manageable.

"I'm really not that sort of person, Teline."

"I don't care what sort of person you are. We are here, and you are scared. And I think it's cute. So I want you. And I'm not taking no for an answer!"

With that she leaned in to kiss me and put her hand on my chest simultaneously. I managed to duck out of the kiss but her hand landed directly on a very womanly part of my anatomy. Her eyes got big and she gasped as I scrambled to get her hand off my chest.

"Wait a second…" she squinted and did the most daring thing I could think of. She went straight for my crotch! I jumped out of the bar stool and scat to the other end of the room. All the boys were laughing at me and Grimble was just furrowing his brow from a private booth.

"Sarah isn't a boy! Boy's don't have boobs! You're not a boy, that's it. Tell us now! I felt it with my own hand!" She taunted, announcing so all could hear.

Luckily, everyone was so drunk at that point, people just laughed. I even stayed on and played another drinking game. Except suddenly all the boys were trying to poke me or look me over. At last I went home and just prayed that in the morning I would still have a job.

The next day Grimble gave me the strangest look. But he didn't tell me to go home. A few hours into work he approached my desk.

"You don't have to wear all that if you don't want to. We all know now."

I looked up with mock innocence.

"Don't give me that. You just be grateful this company is run by a powerful sorceress. When she heard your story early this morning, she laughed and said she was delighted to have a woman working as a scribe at her publishing house. In fact, she'd like to meet you," he raised an eyebrow before going on, "I suggest you find something nicer to wear before she sees you."

I glanced around unsure of what he was suggesting.

"Go on git out! Here's a silver piece from the head honcho, so go get yourself some lady-proper attire. She wants to have tea with you this afternoon. Forget the writing quota, we'll work that out later. This is your mistress we're talking about here!"

I took the coin from his insistent hand and rushed awkwardly out the door. I knew where the clothing stalls were in the main market, so I went to those and found a dress. I hadn't worn anything resembling a dress since…

I chose a forest green fabric that felt solid and smooth against my skin.

Later that day I met my 'mistress.'

She developed an insatiable curiosity about me at once, and it slowly dawned on me that I had been adopted as her personal protégée.

S

My life was mostly work and time spent with Dardinian's family. Still, now and then, I could help but mull over my memories of the Goblin Castle and its king.

In the end, I decided to write _him_ a note of apology. It didn't quite seem the local custom, but something in my own sensibility drew me to take action. Reentering the world again had shown me that not everything is entirely straightforward, and circumstances are often stranger than one initially guesses. Whatever that book said of him, I had only known care and patient gentleness. I could only remember affection and kindness. And no one I had met since leaving his castle had found it necessary to warn me to keep away from him. In fact, very few people seemed to know anything of the Goblin City. Perhaps he was a great deceiver and I a fool for feeling any sense of propriety towards him. Nonetheless, my heart muscle didn't want to take the chance that I'd been wrong. For what if all he had been doing was helping, caring, even loving me? I shuddered to flesh out the repercussions of the scenario.

It took me a bit of stealth and research to figure out how people sent messages here. I had a vague sense that the procedure might be otherwise, but accustomed to hiding the depths of my own ignorance, I simply watched, listened and observed until I had a pretty decent idea of how the postal system functioned. Minimizing my propensity to stick out like a sore thumb was crucial to smooth survival, so I was becoming a real expert in the field. And, yes, I was quite proud of myself for figuring it all out on my own.

It seems a certain breed of fae-friendly troll has a monopoly on this region. Apparently in others there are talking eagles, centaurs, and allegedly even unicorns have a stake in the communications infrastructure here. Mermen and mermaids are said to deliver messages between the sea and land, but not without the aid of sea turtles and certain sentient reptiles. At first I was disappointed that our region was overrun with trolls since, from all the options, they seemed the slowest. However, I learned that the trolls have a particular magic which allows parchment and papyrus to be transferred to the originally intended addressee without even the need for full knowledge of the address, much less manual transportation. Having heard the reports of many satisfied business clients, I decided to throw my lot in with one particular office in the vicinity, which was run by what seemed to be a fairly amiable troll, Taddle. The price was not exorbitant, but it wasn't cheap either. I held my breath as I walked out of the dusty shop littered with uncut gems and fragmented geodes. Hopefully my message would get to him:

"Jareth, I have reflected on my behavior at your castle, and I now regret I left you on such terms. I can only remember kindness when I think of you, and I am sorry I said the things I did. I have found an occupation and have learned more about who I am. I thought you might be happy to know. –Sarah"


	11. Chapter 11

**Haunted**

J

I let the paper curl back into a cylinder on my desk. It was a far cry from a declaration of love—not that it made much sense to have been expecting one. Still, it had been more than a year in the Underground since she left. Why now? Her tone seemed cold, matter of fact. I wasn't sure if there was really anything more to make of it. _If she wanted you to come to her, she'd ask_, I reminded myself firmly—determined not to interfere in her life without her permission.

_If she's ever going to return your love, she must do so in her own time, in full consciousness of who she is_…I paused…_But only you can tell her the story of her past_, _and without her past she will always have unanswered questions about who she really is_. _Damn_.

I heartily dislike Catch-22's. I much prefer riddles with ingenious solutions. But I could not seem to transform this infernal impasse into an opportunity for action.

_Looks like I'm Mr. Lonely and you're Ms. Lost. What a pity, what a pity_…

Then an idea struck like a large porcelain object shattering over my addled head: She is part fae now. We are inhabitants of the same realm. I don't have to wait for her to summon me. If I wanted I could try and speak to her. She might tell me to leave, but what if she didn't?

_What if she didn't…?_ The little glimmer of amorphous and highly contagious hope hopped twice in the back of my mind.

And then again, what if she did? My presence might trigger that same rage I saw the day she left, and then there'd be no note of apology some year after the fact. _Really, I must be out of my mind_.

I'll admit it. My hope is something of a lame beast. It generally jumps once or twice before spraining something and calling for a rest. That is not to say I am a man without purpose.

I sat and fiddled with other bits of work in my study before finally forcing myself out on a flight. Regaining my human form in the heart of a chirping forest, I walked for several hours more wondering if another piece of the puzzle would come to me.

_You could write her and see if she responds_, the solution popped into my mind.

J

I wrote her. I didn't pour my soul out, but I did try to sound as though I still cared. I'm not even sure what I wrote anymore. I didn't hear anything. Disappointment sank like a blanket of fog over the late fall landscape outside my study window. With a month already out and no sign of response, my mood took on a darker timbre.

_Sarah, did I really say everything so wrong? Am I that horrible you wouldn't write me back? Or maybe you're just finished with me. You want to move on_.

But I really didn't want her to want to move on. I wanted her to want me. To miss me. Sure, it was her life. But we all have hopes. Maybe this was just the human side of me speaking again.

A week or so more went by and I began to grow worried. Other possibilities climbed into my mind. Perhaps the letter was intercepted? But who would have done such a thing. At last I checked my crystal, realizing I could not see Sarah if I asked. However, this time I asked to see the letter instead. To my delight and great displeasure, I saw it with perfect clarity. It was sitting in a pile of clutter on a desk I remembered all too well.

_Damn, how does she know you're here_? I asked myself with rue.

Then it hit me. Sarah said she had an occupation. Of all the places Sarah might employ herself, it seems highly probable she would…

_Oh no, Sarah, not her. You didn't sign a contract under __**that**__ one, did you_?

The words of the Protectors returned to me. Suddenly I understood how my help was needed. I made plans to stay in Larutan, seeing to whatever preparations I could think of, worry already gnawing at my insides.

So it was a visit to Thelesta, then.

J

I decided surprise might make up for the charm I was no longer willing to dole out on this piece of my past. I materialized in her savvy city penthouse only to be met with a flash of light and a painful zinging in my arm. Apparently the surprise was to be on me.

"I've been expecting you, Mr. Mischief!"

Peels of tinselly laughter cascaded down the back of my neck.

"Hmm…what's wrong with you? Not as limber as you used to be!" She teased as my arm stung from her magic blow. I made no motion to protest. Taken aback at my unprecedented passivity, her eyes fixed on me and suddenly grew wide.

"I expected you'd come, but I didn't expect…" she scrutinized me slowly, giving me unpleasant chills. I held my tongue.

"Why you've…_changed_." She broke into another oratorio of laughter, this time darker. I stood tall fashioning my features into stone, knowing she'd already guessed my new secret.

"You aren't only fae anymore. Why you're…_part human_. How is that possible?! When you were mine you were all fae!" She growled in triumphant recollection.

Yes, it's true. This is part of the price I paid. But I didn't have time to ruminate on the consequences of my action that day. Thelesta was already leering at me with mesmerizing force, and I'd have to work to keep my head on straight. She was, after all, a powerful sorceress.

I'd also forgotten how forceful she could come across. A part of me was almost embarrassed for her. Well, she did at least look good for her age—deep brown eyes, dark scarlet bodice over black skirt, titanium blond streaming down her back peppered with tiny braids and infused with streaks of glossy obsidian. Admittedly, I've always had a taste for strong-willed women.

"Release her from her contract, Thelesta," I challenged coolly.

"Who?" She glared at me through long, shimmering lashes.

"You know who."

"Hm, that other part-human. What an intriguing mess this all sounds like. And what if I prefer to keep her under my employment?"

"I am asking you."

"And I'm considering refusing you. What if the girl doesn't wish to go with you?"

"That's her choice, but I'm still asking you."

She paced and eyed me with measured consideration. Goosebumps rippled down my sides.

"So what would you offer me in return?" Her line of sight swung low over my trunk and down towards my hips.

"I am asking, not offering," I replied, unmoved.

Her expression flashed before she could calm her own ruffled demeanor. I had refused her, and she had understood my meaning. _Well, Thelia, was it not you who found it fit to abandon me when it best suited your own interests? What bond of loyalty or affection stands between either of us now? Only a memory, one I would have gladly forgotten a hundred times over at this point_. _And more importantly, one I no longer need to forget. I have more important memories than you now_.

"What could a part-human offer me anyway!" She scoffed, having recollected her pride. "All your magic's contaminated, even the foundations of your labyrinth are infested with this new plague of weakness. You should fear me. But you were always too dull to figure out the most sensible course of action in a timely manner. Still," she hesitated, light returning to her face, "perhaps this is yet an opportunity for you. In your weakened state you need to sort out your alliances. You require protection. Who better to confide in and serve than myself?"

"Thelesta, this is not why I came." _She doesn't understand that if Sarah is with me, I am just as strong as ever. She hasn't guessed the connection between us yet_, I thought with a fleeting and anxious sense of hope. Thelesta had never understood the magic of the other realms, and she had often begrudged me for my sympathy and expertise in such subjects.

"Well, my life isn't about you, is it? So you can ask me what you want, but that doesn't mean I'll give it."

_Thelia, you're life was never about me. I regret it took me so long to find out_.

"She doesn't know the full implications of her contract," I tried to stick to the matter at hand, wielding as well as I could the rusty sword of diplomacy.

"Are you implying I would use her for my own ends?"

_Oh, more than implying_…

"As a kindness, release her. That is all I'm asking."

"I'll talk to her and see what she has to say about you."

"I'd rather you didn't."

"Not your decision," she smirked with flippant finality.


	12. Chapter 12

**Bittersweet Miracles**

S

One day the impossible happened. I was walking to the sea in the afternoon, right hand thoroughly cramped from a full day's work, looking forward to a simple hour of solitary contemplation with the mild breeze on my face. And then I saw him. At first I thought I was mad. For you see, I look for his likeness everywhere, at least a part of me does. I've gotten better at ignoring that part of me which is always scanning and wondering if my eyes might alight on my lost Goblin King. But this was not one of those days of false resemblance. It was really him. His distinctive hair, the firm line of his shoulders, and when he turned his face, I could see…

_Jareth_. _What are you doing in this city?_

My heart started beating furiously. I wanted to believe he could have traced my letter, but I had made sure it was not of the regular traceable kind. And besides, why would he come to find me after the things I'd said to him?

I couldn't understand myself. My chest heaved with joy and grief all at once, and it was a chore to keep my wits on target. I was afraid to look at him and be recognized and yet I couldn't take my eyes from him, sneaking a glance at every opportunity I felt I could reasonably afford.

I'd forgotten his effect on me. And now that I understood the nature of my own desire for him, my body awakened with a new wave of sensation—nothing I'd ever felt before. Sweet aches danced with paralyzing despair. Sheer longing of every sort invaded my consciousness, making me dizzy.

The narrow, winding streets caught up to us, and I lost him as he turned the corner. I had to stifle the suffocating urge to call his name and run after him. I felt pathetic. If only I could trust my own urge to seek him. My spirits sank as I realized the cherished outline of his form had probably disappeared from sight indefinitely. Maybe I'd never see him again. Who knows where he was headed anyway. And yes, my inner hope sank with disappointment at the thought it wasn't my presence which had lured him here.

Suddenly the sea seemed the last place in the world I'd find peace. I pivoted on my heel and hurried straight back to the workshop, determined to get my mind clear of my own internal emotional fiasco, blinking away the extra moisture attempting to gather in my eyes.

As it happened, Thelesta found me clearing out the scraps of my last project and organizing my file. Her pretty blond braids and simple smile paired well with her tastefully adorned blue-grey robe. I saw little silver filigree curled into the plates of her braids and once again found myself appreciated her knack for self presentation. I'm not sure why she had chosen to befriend me. It certainly wasn't necessary. And it was also awkward at times for me, considering the gap in our societal status was well nigh insurmountable. Still, she had taken a liking to my script, and as it seemed my person. I tried my best to keep up some sense of formality even as she pretended we were nothing more than female friends exchanging local gossip. It was the least I could do to keep the other co-workers of mine from absolutely hating me.

"Zaresta," she caught my arm as if filled with a bubbling preoccupation too jittery to contain. Zaresta was her name for me. And since I wasn't even sure what my real name had been, I tolerated it.

"You never told me you were Jareth's lover!"

_Oh heavens_. I fought the urge to bug my eyes out of my head and swallowed hard instead.

"I am not his lover, and how do you know Jareth?"

"Well, he's the Goblin King. Everyone knows that. Goodness, had I known…"

"Look, I think you may have got a few details wrong."

"Oh, so you've never made the acquaintance of the Goblin King?"

I stammered, "Well, I know him." She had cornered me. Sometimes other women scare me with their aptitude for wheedling information from an unwilling subject.

"Things didn't go well with him, honey? Oh I'm so sorry." She put on her best sympathy face, and I shifted two more shades towards utter discomfort. She certainly had perfected her timing.

"Look, I think you misunderstand the nature of our acquaintance." But then who was I really kidding? Had we not been in some sense lovers? Had I not left him in a rage?

"It's okay if you never want him to bother you again. I know him. He's trouble."

"How do you know him?" The hair on the back of my neck perked.

"He was once engaged to my sister. He deserted her for another and left her heartbroken," she pronounced with knowing solemnity.

My heart suddenly plunged to the bottom of my ribcage. This couldn't be. This didn't sound anything like the Jareth I knew. But then again, how much of him did I really know? And who was I to judge when I couldn't even remember my past? His profile flashed across my imagination—had he been going to woo some other creature like myself? _Well at least she wouldn't be as ridiculous as me and would actually know how to __**appreciate **__the opportunity_, I gagged at the direction of my own personal monologue. _Who are you kidding, whether he's a dastardly lover or a misjudged saint, a part of you can't deny how much you crave him_…_You know he still haunts the half-remembered corridors of your dreams_; _that's why you haven't even seriously considered looking at another since you left him_. I fought to keep a straight face as I did my best to strangle my own inner turmoil.

"Oh, did your sister ever recover?" I probed, trying to shift the nature of the discourse.

_A part of you would give anything just to be held by him one more time_…_Too bad, you gave that up the day you left him. Deal with it_. _Move on_.

"Well, she became a notable scholar and wrote several books, but then something mysterious and awful happened to her. It was really a tragedy in the end," Thelesta lowered her eyes with due ceremony and a touch of impish gossip. I wasn't particularly impressed with her attitude towards her own sister.

"Certainly Jareth wasn't involved in her ultimate disappearance?"

"Well, she didn't write very flattering things about him, so I've always asked myself the question."

"So then, no one really knows," a glimmer of optimism must have betrayed me.

"You really like him don't you?"

"He just…helped me."

"Oh, I see…"

I really didn't know how to respond to that.

She eyed me for a while and eventually let me pass off my silence as the end of the discussion. But not without adding her own prognosis.

"I think you are dangerously attached to that man. You should watch yourself, he isn't a good boy," she winked with a sinister glean in her eye. For the first time I realized how frightening she must be when she wanted.

"I didn't say I was attached to him," I retorted dully.

"Oh, so you have no interest in him whatsoever?" she pried.

I thought of my letter he hadn't responded to. I guess he has no interest for me, for why else wouldn't he have written?

"It's not important," I parried. She really didn't need to know my real feelings for him. Every fiber in my body told me I should hide that from her.

"Okay," she studied me for a minute, "he's not important. Understood." Her features softened as she added, "You are such a strong, independent creature. I really do admire that about you."


	13. Chapter 13

**Reunions of Solitude**

J

I don't trust Thelesta. For obvious reasons. So I've got to find Sarah myself. Admittedly I'll risk her rejection. I don't really enjoy that thought. But someone has to tell her about Thelesta's contracts. They are broken by the signee only on pain of death. The clause is written in invisible ink—a slight emendation to the actual words. Further, there is an addition unseen clause which stipulates that the signee may be punished as the writer of the contract sees fit; any refusal to comply with the terms of contract may result in punishment or death. The words only become visible in a fae court, where they are in fact entirely valid. The document as a whole was signed, and the document contained those words, even if the signer was not able to catch them. There is an out clause, however. Thelesta may choose to terminate any contract at will, with no repercussions. For some reason, I guess she's going to try to hold on to Sarah and use her to make me miserable—nothing like a heartless dose of arbitrary revenge.

I gulp. I know where Sarah's living, but it's still very hard to imagine myself waltzing over there and introducing myself to her landlord. In fact, I really can't imagine myself doing that. Scratching that I idea, I ruminate my remaining options with a lump in my throat. _Wait_, I realize for the first time in a long time, _you're in the same city as her. You can watch her in owl form and see where she goes_. The notion filled me with a sense of freedom and strange joy. My plan of action set, I launched from my hotel window out to perch at Sarah's address.

The morning is still fresh, and I suspect she will still be waking. I should be quick, appear to her when she seems to have found a moment to herself. There's no telling whether Thelesta already has spies or spells set to thwart me at my own effects.

Gliding now in the air, I scan the city and then turn my neck to look out over the sea. It isn't a bad place really. Situating myself on the roof of the building across from where Sarah lived, I set up watch, waiting for her to emerge on street level. As much I would like to peer at her through the window, I feel it entirely too risky given the circumstances.

At last my patience is rewarded. I spy a little brown clod of silky hair peeking out from a capped figure in a green dress. Immediately I appreciate the way the lines of it fit her body. She seems to float over the cobblestones from my vantage. I follow her, wondering if she will head straight into work.

Wonder and anxiety grip me when I see she is headed elsewhere. _Where are you going, Sarah_? I snap my beak unable to hold back my roiling curiosity. We make our way slowly to the shoreline. The breeze picks up and I must work harder to follow her inconspicuously, as I switch from gliding off city thermals to flapping against writhing convection currents.

S

I had such trouble sleeping last night. I wake groggy but with the dawn, salt air filling my nostrils with a tinge of vague anticipation. For some reason, I choose my green dress, even though I have no occasion to wear it. Normally I'd wear something closer to my old style—pants, a loose shirt perhaps. But today, I want to wear my dress.

After all, yesterday was such a strange and hectic mess.

The road massages the soles of my feet as I plod gingerly onward. I go where I always go when I wake with the dawn—to the sea. Even though it is chilly now. Still, it is not as cold as it was with Insy and Sassy. Here the water moderates the cold and the heat. I love the feel of cold moisture in my lungs.

It is a blessing to have this time of day to myself.

I meet the water's edge with familiarity and sisterly recognition. Like the waves, my days ebb and flow and churn, frothed with a storm or calm on a sunny day. The sea is nameless here. They simply call it the sea. I'm sure on navigational maps, it must have some more specific name, but it suits me that no one knows it. My past is faceless just as the sea is nameless. It doesn't stop either of us from moving.

Sometimes, out in the distance I can see large boats graze the horizon. On other days, the little street cats climb over the rocks around the pier and come to greet me. I think of my friend Sassy, even though she is not a cat like them. I even bring them old scraps from dinner. I love it most when I spot a mother herding her kittens through the rocks. When it's warmer, the children come and play in their trousers. They laugh and jump and do silly things. But I have to say, there's something about the utter solitude of a cold early winter morning that grips me like nothing else.

A rustling noise creeps at my back. Startled, I turn quickly to locate the source…

_Jareth_.


	14. Chapter 14

**Joy in Tribulation**

S

The first wave of sensation was utter shock and disbelief. Then an ache that echoed through my body. My memories awoke longing but I could not trust my own longing, could not even trust that…

But no, he'd sought me out. Could it possibly be he still wanted me? I'm a fool. I'm not sure if he ever wanted me, in that sense at least. Perhaps cared is the most cautious word. Surely he cared for me in that castle, no? _Oh God, do you care for me still_?

My heart nearly stopped at the possibility.

As he stood before me in full regalia, I remembered how beautiful he was and more. My body came alive and my mind opened—things I'd never thought of before suddenly flooded me with bold and endless possibility. It took everything I had not to gasp in his presence. Utterly stripped of my composure all I could do was stare at him and wonder what he had in mind finding me like this.

J

"Sarah," I called to her gently. I tried to make my voice make up for the words that would not come out of my mouth.

She stood hesitantly gazing at me. My heart thudded. _Damn it, Sarah, give me a sign! Do you hate me or not_?

"Jareth," she responded at last, the name barely making it above a whisper.

"Sarah, please, don't hate me," I kicked myself as the words escaped me. All I wanted to do was hide in my owl form and fly away after such an idiotic utterance. All the same, I made myself stand there, doing my best to look dignified.

"I don't hate you," she said with soft bewilderment. Her eyes betrayed something I had not expected, but I wasn't ready to jump to conclusions. Though the softness of her tone hinted at something I'd only ever dared to dream.

"You don't?" I knew I should tell her she was in danger, but for the second time I couldn't help myself. I had to know.

"No…" she looked puzzled. I wasn't satisfied.

"Why don't you hate me?" I demanded, rendering my lunacy complete.

"Because that's not the way I feel about you," her gaze began to question mine, "Does it matter to you?" She dropped her face to look at the ground after uttering that last question. My heart warmed a touch at the suggestive bashfulness and fluttered at the implication. _She doesn't hate you. She isn't telling you to go away_.

Even with her face turned from me, I could detect a thin sheen of moisture gathering in the whites of her eyes. _Oh, Sarah, don't cry. Why would you cry_?

"Please Sarah, I never meant to hurt you. I only wanted to help," in my panic blathering seemed like my solemn and inevitable fate.

"I know," she murmured. She seemed closer to tears by the second. _Damn the bards of Hades, what do I say? I seem to only be making it worse._

"Please, you don't need to cry Sarah. I came to help you," I interjected with increasing alarm. She seemed to choke at my words, much to my dismay and bedraggled confusion.

"You want to help me?" she managed through a clenched throat.

"Yes, Sarah, you're in danger. Please let me help you."

She blinked and lifted her eyes to level with mine once more.

"I just have one question, really. _Why _do you want to help me? Why now?" The light in her eyes cut holes in my soul.

"You're in danger now. And you wrote me, didn't you?" Surely the letter I'd received from her had been no forgery.

"So you got my letter?" She seemed closer to sobbing again.

"Yes, and I wrote you back. But someone confiscated it." At least I have no doubts as to the provenance of that letter. She really did write me. Not that it said much.

"Who?" her face grew suddenly dark, "And what did you write in your letter?" The anxiety in her brow was killing me. She hadn't outright rejected me, but it still felt as though my worst nightmares were coming true.

"Sarah, I don't remember." Her eyes sank. I continued, "I mean, I just wanted you to know that I still cared."

"You cared?" she plied tentatively. The strange plea in her voice wrung my heart.

"Of course I care. What do take me for?" I sighed at last.

"You care?" she wouldn't take her eyes off me.

"Yes I do, that's why I want to help you. I care about you."

"Why do you care about me?" she asked with devastating simplicity. _Sarah, you really had to ask_?

Words failed me for a moment. Then I realized there was no other way around it.

"I love you."

Her eyes were watery again, but a different air settled on her features.

"You do?"

"Yes." I wanted to bury myself in the ground.

"Really?"

"Do I look like I'm joking?!" I pushed finally. Things were humiliating enough already without her asking me to repeat my confession ad infinitum.

To my surprise she took a step closer. Ambivalent, I did not know how to interpret her body language.

"To be honest, I care about you too," she said at last. "In fact, I've missed you very much."

"You have?" Now it was my turn to question with stupefied disbelief.

"Yes, I couldn't forget you. I left so angry, but…that anger died." She looked away again.

This time I was the bold one and took a step towards her.

"You're truly not angry at me, Sarah?"

I was a foot away from her now. I part of me simply wanted to reach out and touch her face.

"No," her head rose to match my gaze.

I lightly touched her upper arm, never taking my eyes from hers. She didn't flinch. Actually, she moved to press herself against me, and before I knew it our lips were dancing.

_Oh, Sarah_…

I wrapped her into my arms as she nestled into my embrace. Warmth rushed through my body.

"I…love…you…too," muffled by hair and fabric.

We kissed again. I let my hands glide through her pretty tresses and rubbed my hips against her luxurious form. _She loves me_. _She's kissing me_.

I'm not sure how long we stood there at the shore. Eventually I knew we had better move to a less exposed area.

"Sarah, come with me. We'll go back to my hotel. There's a lot I need to tell you. You're in danger."

"I'm nearly late for work," she gasped. I could feel her body go tense.

"Forget work, Sarah. That's what I need to tell you about. You…"

"But what will Grimble and Thelesta say? I've never been late!"

I tried to calm her with my hands, but realized a proper explanation was in order.

"Sarah, please trust me. You need to come with me. Your employers are withholding vital information from you. I happen to know Thelesta. She is a very dangerous woman. If she knew I were here with you…"

She searched me with strange and pleading eyes.

"Sarah, please come before it's too late. Let me protect you."

She nodded slowly, and I needed no further urging. In an instant we were safe in my hotel suite. At least for the moment my own magic was strong enough to keep out any of Thelesta's spells. And with Sarah near me, I could feel my strength returning.

I spent the next half hour trying to keep her mind off work. I brought her tea, explained Thelesta's contract, reading her for any sign of comprehension, acceptance or anger. At length she stopped me mid sentence and asked the thing I'd expected least.

"Jareth, please, can you kiss me?"

My jaw dropped for perhaps the umpteenth time this morning, but when I saw the fear of rejection in her eyes, I leant over and kissed her on the forehead. Her hands reached out for me.

"Again?" she inquired.

I was lost, but not unhappy with the course of events. I kissed her cheek. She asked for another kiss. Confidence growing, I settled on her delicious lips once more. Her light moan of delight sent shivers down my spine.

"Tell me everything I need to know," she demanded between our increasingly forceful exchanges. I could feel the spark of passion blooming between us. It frightened me. It was happening so fast, and yet I wanted it for so long, how could I resist?

Pulling her up to rest on my chest, I promised her to explain everything to her, but asked her to be patient. Some things would not mix well with our current play of passion. She fingered my now half exposed chest and nuzzled her cheek under my jawbone.

If Paradise could be found in the midst of Hades, I cannot think of it in any other terms than this.

S

His chest felt warm and firm against me. I withdrew a little to gauge the expression on his face. He looked at me in silence as if waiting for something. My hand still rested on the bare skin of his upper chest. I returned his gaze of silence. The magic between us was so powerful it was almost paralyzing.

For the first time in over a year, we were alone and both awake to the possibilities as yet unexplored between us. My pulse spiked. I drank in the minute details of his features and scent. He continued to watch me as if frozen until I deigned to release him.

I reached up with my free hand to find the scalp along the edges of his hairline, wove my fingers into the roots of his hair and leant in to plant a delicate kiss next to his ear. He kept still and I tentatively spread my kisses across the top of his forehead, lifting both hands to bury them in the mess of hair on the back of his head. I felt his arms circle around my back as he guided me toward his mouth.

This time the initiative was his.


	15. Chapter 15

**Flowers of Paradise**

S

The sun was setting , and I was still entangled in his arms. He stroked my hair, soothing me, reminding me of so long ago. Except this time something new was growing between us. I didn't even try to fight it. The feeling was so natural, so instinctive, so sweet…

I gazed around at his apartment suite from my vantage on his generous sofa. The tea cups had been sitting with cold tea for hours now. They were ornate and delicate. It was strange to be lying here with Jareth in a place other than the Goblin Castle—things had been more rustic there on the whole.

His hypnotizing fingers continued to comb my neck and scalp as I scanned the curious fresco on the ceiling. There was a castle and a maze, not like the labyrinth in exact detail, but the idea was the same. Two large windows poured dimming light onto our love scene from behind the sofa. Past the tea table was another chair and then some open space, filled in one corner by a desk. I noticed papers already strewn across it. Apparently Jareth had been busy these past few days.

His heartbeat thrummed against my cheek, and I savored his warmth, as I looked at the door beyond the desk, assuming it was Jareth's sleeping chamber.

Here in his proximity, my doubts and questions subsided like morning mist under a bright, hot summer sun.

Beneath our perch on the couch lay a beautiful bronze ornamental rug. Its floral patterns depicted dark brown oaks, rich green leaves and golden flowers intertwined in sophisticated stylization. I lifted my head and lowered my lips onto his once more. The sensation was indescribable. With the ginger tip of my tongue I could graze the edge of his canines. He caught me and drew me in deeper, much to my increased delight. I could feel his grip tighten against the curve of my skull. Moving against him roused the deepest reservoirs of my soul. We continued to touch each other this manner for a few more minutes until the wave of desire gave way to a space of glutted satiation.

"It's a shame I can't take you anywhere tonight," he stated with a richly contented tone as I stared down at him.

"Is it really that bad? I mean, dangerous?" I queried, but then thought twice, "Well, where would you take me in this city if you could? In the Goblin Castle we didn't have his luxury, so I never thought of it. Now I'm quite curious…"

"Yes, it's even more dangerous than you know…" he mused with a touch of apprehension. "I'd like to take you to a concert. Not one with troll sopranos though…" he toyed and pinched my chin with a grin.

I smiled. I liked the idea. His first words returned to me and my smile faded slightly. _What if this was the last time I'd ever_…

"Now Sarah…" he stopped my train of thought. Evidently my expression had been fairly obvious.

Getting off my elbows I nestled my head down into the crook of his shoulder as he gave me a squeeze.

"Remember, I'm here to help you. I will do everything I can to protect you," he squeezed harder.

"I don't want it to end like this," I whispered into his ear.

"It won't. Don't worry. We don't know her plans anyway. Maybe she doesn't want to hurt you."

For some reason I got the sense Jareth said that more to convince himself than me.

"She wants to use me to get to you, doesn't she?" I said at last. It'd been on my mind for some time, but I'd been too timid to suggest the full scope of its implications.

"What makes you think that?" he moved so I had to raise myself and look down at him.

"The way she talked about you…" I answered cautiously. His reaction was telling. I could feel it in his body.

"Oh…can you tell me what she said?" The tension in his voice was palpable.

"She came to me yesterday after work. She said I was your…lover," I hesitated to repeat the word at first, "Then she told this strange story about her sister and you, but she didn't seem to feel very warmly about her sister, so I was suspicious. It was clear she had an agenda, so I didn't tell her much."

His eyes rolled back into his head as his arms wrapped around my shoulder blades and pressed me starkly against his chest. A moan of relief escaped him.

"The High Court be praised! You…you didn't trust her," he pronounced at last. My heart ached for him. He seemed so worked up and so relieved all at once.

"No, I didn't. But is it true about her sister, I mean, were you two intended?"

His relief disbursed into a cloud of dark resignation. I was almost sorry I'd asked the question.

"Not exactly…"

"Okay, tell me your side of it. Don't worry, I trust you." I had the feeling this would be a long one.

We sat up slowly on the couch, but I didn't move away from him. After a second or two, he relaxed enough to put an arm around me before beginning.

"I'm sorry to say, but I wasn't always the way I am now. I mean, I've been a stupid, petty sot in my life. And this is one of those chapters." He avoided my gaze.

"I'm pretty sure we all have our less flattering moments. Go on." I'd rather him tell me the less than perfect truth than cover it with a lie. At least this way he had a real opportunity to earn my trust on a new level.

He gave me a funny look of unexpected appraisal before taking a deep breath and diving in.

"You see, I was Thelesta's…lover," he mirrored my hesitation, "She hated her sister, but I didn't care. She decided to trick her into believing I wanted her. And because my only concern was pleasing Thelesta, I played along," he eyed me nervously before continuing, "Her sister, Lysita, was not pleased when she found out the game. At that point Thelesta decided she was finished with me, and I retired to the Goblin City with a rather besmirched reputation. Lysita saw to it that everyone would remember me as nothing but a monster. She was a scholar of the realm you see, so she published several works with sections devoted to my kingdom and office, one of which you chanced upon in my library…"

I blinked for a moment and the pieces fell together.

"You kept a copy?"

"For my records. Better to know what your enemy is saying about you. And besides, my father was not a kind man. He left quite a legacy."

"But Lysita died, didn't she? Thelesta wanted to put the blame on you," I pressed.

"Considering their infamous rivalry, I wouldn't be the least bit surprised if it was Thelesta herself who murdered Lysita. God knows at this point," he pinched the bridge of his nose. Clearly this was not easy for him to talk about.

I admired that he had decided to talk about it for my sake, all the same.

"So you haven't dealt with Thelesta since…"

"Since she left me," he interjected resolutely.

"You don't still have feelings for her, do you?" I jumped, startled at my own curiosity.

Jareth turned and looked me straight in the face, a weight hanging from his eyes.

"You don't honestly think…"  
"I'm sorry," I stammered.

"Sarah, look at me," he commanded, taking my hand. I complied.

"I'm here in this city because of you. I'm in love with you. This woman is history, but she's a threat to the woman I love. Don't think for a minute…"

I put a hand over his lips and leaned in to kiss them.

"But there's still so much more I have to tell you," he protested.

"I've heard enough. I believe you," I insisted while rubbing my nose down his neck. He sighed, but his hands caught mine before they could do any more damage.

"No, Sarah, about you. I have to tell you about your past. I can't keep it from you any longer. Not when we are…" the expression in his eyes finished that sentence.

This time he had my attention.

"Yes?"

"You haven't wondered since…you left?" he reached out to run his fingers through my hair again.

"Of course I have. But I've also learned about who I am now, even if I can't remember."

"So you still haven't remembered anything?"

"Not that I'm aware."

"I'm sorry. Please forgive me, had I realized…"

"What do you mean?" My spine tingled.

"Sarah, I wanted to tell you. You were so fragile. Then you were getting better, and I didn't know how…and then you…left."

"Tell me," I gulped, wondering if I'd regret my request.

"You really want to know?"

"You know then, don't you?"

"I'm afraid I do. Sometimes I wish I didn't."

"You know who I am…was, rather." Excitement and anxiety gripped me like a riptide.

"Sarah, you were once fully human. You had a human life. You lived in the human realm. You…you were...then as you are now…wonderful. You were a dreamer who didn't take no for an answer, working day after day to make those dreams a reality…"

"Wait, how did you know me if I was human?" _Human! My wildest speculations were in the end closest to the truth…How incredible_.

"You called to me once. You ran my labyrinth to save your baby brother, and beat me."

My face grew dark, "What do you mean, save my baby brother?" I felt him squirm as my pulse skyrocketed. _So, are you telling me I can't trust you_?

"I…I have a function. I go between the worlds. You…called me and asked me to take your baby brother. It was your wish. But you changed your mind. But the rules of the labyrinth are such that…"

"What's said is said."

"Precisely, and so you had to…" he stopped and looked at me with rising concern.

"That's exactly what I said to you. Do you remember?"

"…ah…I just said what came to mind. No, sorry…"

He drew me into him again, and I let him, even though I didn't like the part about him taking my baby brother.

"But don't worry, you got your baby brother back. You solved my labyrinth and you asked for him back and you wouldn't take no for an answer. So you got him back. But you got something else you probably hadn't bargained for…"

"What?" his proximity was starting to have its effect on me again, but I simply had to hear this story.

"You see, I listen to many mortals but take an active interest in few. I'd taken an interest in you, no doubt, but once you beat me, I…didn't forget you. Let us say."

"You followed me."

"Watched you."

"So you saw my life."

"Yes."

"How much?"

"I'm a skilled and dedicated observer," the look he gave me sent a tremor down my trunk. I was already long drunk on his scent.

"But then how did I get here? How did I lose my memory?"

"This is the hardest part," he grimaced.

"Tell me," I planted a kiss on his lower lip before sitting up straight to meet his eyes.

"You had an accident. You were dying. I could see you but I couldn't stop it. I didn't want you to die. So I didn't let you."

"You mean you saved me?" I saw the tension gathering in his face.

"But at a cost."

"What was the cost?"

"You forgot everything of your past life. You needed a new body," he hesitated, "I mean you still look like you, but…there was an exchange."

"What was the exchange."

"You're not fully human anymore. You belong to my realm now," he swallowed hard as if waiting for me to explode on him.

"Is that all?"

"No."

"Are you going to tell me?"

"You're part fae, and I'm part human. I didn't know it'd work out this way but it did," he turned so I couldn't look at him. I'd never seen him look this defeated.

"How did you end up part human?" I puzzled out loud.

"Sarah, it was an exchange. A part of me for a part of you."

My eyebrows fluttered and my eyes bugged. At last I understood his meaning.

"Oh."

He nodded and turned away from my gaze again.

"Hey, why are you acting like this, you saved my life, didn't you?" I reached for his arm.

"It wasn't my place. I broke the rules. I…"

"I don't care. You saved my life, didn't you?"

He reluctantly shifted his weight to look back at me.

"I guess," he admitted at length.

"Because you loved me."

He flinched, but didn't respond.

I studied him for a minute or so and tried to figure out why he'd react this way. Considering the way I reacted last time I found out something about him, I supposed his behavior made sense. But it seemed like he felt guilty for saving me somehow.

"Do you regret saving me?" I asked.

"Never. But I regret what I did to you in order to save you."

Finally he made sense.

"Maybe it's better I don't remember, Jareth. After all, this is my world now," I tousled a bit of his hair.

"But _I _remember, Sarah. I remember everything you lost," he stated with leaden dejection.

"Well then, you'll have to tell me sometime. But enough for now. It's not every day two people who love each other get a suite to themselves…" I ran a finger down his arm and tried to coax him to meet my eyes again.

"It's strange being part human. Sides of me come out I didn't even know I had," he said thoughtfully as he raised his eyebrows in response to my prodding.

"Not used to this much regret?" I smiled wistfully. He didn't answer.

I took his hand and kissed it slowly.

"Thank you, Jareth, for saving my life. And thank you for coming to help me now."

He sighed and the corner of his mouth lifted.

"You know I've always been curious as to what effects my infused fae nature would have on you…"

I grinned with a look of knowing invitation.

"Best way to satisfy your curiosity is to find out for yourself."

That got his attention. Thirty seconds later we were tumbling through the bedroom door. Whatever Thelesta was plotting against us, I couldn't have cared less in that moment. At least we had each other. _Jareth, my Jareth. You really are mine, aren't you_?

I saw more of Jareth that night than I'd ever seen before. Obviously, I cherished every inch.


End file.
